<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Truth, Part Six by Seasider</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723835">The Truth, Part Six</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seasider/pseuds/Seasider'>Seasider</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Truth [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Jedi Training, Memories only, PTSD, Trauma, Underage Rape/Non-con, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:47:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>35,264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seasider/pseuds/Seasider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke versus Yoda.<br/>And Vader.<br/>And his new Force powers.<br/>And his gorgeous self.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luke Skywalker &amp; Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker &amp; Friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Truth [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Boy Can’t Help It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey. It's me," Luke said inanely, even though he knew that Jovay would be able to see him. "I've given this message to an acquaintance to pass on. I hope you're okay and didn't say anything stupid to you-know-who. I thought about what you said and I agree and disagree. Can't really say much more." Not on an insecure vid. "Here are my coordinates, don't tell anyone. I need some things. I gave away my old stuff so I need clothes from the ship, boots, a new cloak. How about some credits? And a crystal. Tell my father that's really important because… I think I'm going to the teacher he told me about." He had to make this short. "And tell him I'm…"<br/>
<em><br/>
Sorry/not sorry.<br/>
</em><br/>
"Tell him I miss him and I hope he forgives me and… I love him. A lot. We'll figure it out. I hope he's all right. And… both of you be careful."</p>
<p>Sitting outside in the pre-dawn darkness, he cut off the recording and looked around again. Satisfied no one was near enough to have overheard, he rose and brushed off his pants, heading to his meeting with Dayan.</p>
<p>The man was waiting, yawning, his eyes still clouded with sleep. "Got my transport ready?"</p>
<p>"Almost." Luke let his hand relax next to his leg and Dayan took the message chip from between his fingers. "Be sure to send this. It's really important to me."</p>
<p>"I keep a deal. You'd better too."</p>
<p>"I will."</p>
<p>Dayan looked over Luke's shoulder. "Your shadow is watching."</p>
<p>"I know." He'd sensed Boss exit the hangar, though he made no further move toward them. "Now would be a good time to touch me so I can pull away in horror."</p>
<p>The other laughed. "I get it. I'm the villain who gets kicked off planet." His fingers brushed Luke's cheek. "How's that?"</p>
<p>"I'm horrified." Luke jerked away with a tiny smile. "Now I'm walking away. Pack your belongings and be ready."</p>
<p>"Thanks. I'm looking disappointed."</p>
<p>"Don't make me laugh." Another time, a different situation, maybe they could have been friends. He didn't look back as he hurried over to Garven Dreis.</p>
<p>"Boss—"</p>
<p>The older man held up one hand. "What you do when you're sober is your choice."</p>
<p>"No! I mean, yes, but… I'm not interested in him or… umm… anything." He looked at his feet. "It's embarrassing, you know? People are talking."</p>
<p>"What did you expect?"</p>
<p>Luke sighed. "I wasn't thinking. Look, he's got a hardship exit approved and is just waiting for a transport. Can't you get him out of here? I don't want to keep running into him."</p>
<p>Boss gave him a speculative look. "I'll see what I can do. But why do I feel that you're not being completely honest?"</p>
<p>"Because I'm Oz. People assume I'm lying and I have a reputation to uphold." Luke gave him a cheeky grin. "Thanks for your help, Boss. Wanna have breakfast?"</p>
<p>"I'm checking in with Command first. I'll see you later. Be at work by 0700."</p>
<p>"I always am!" He felt fleeting guilt at manipulating his friend, but it was a harmless request. Nothing bad would come of it, right?</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>Barely two days later, with Dayan gone and happily out of the way, he received a summons to report to CC.</p>
<p>
  <em> Clever you think you are. </em>
</p>
<p>"We'll see." <em> I'm rethinking your offer to train me. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> Honored I am. </em>
</p>
<p><em> Sarcastic you are. </em> Luke grinned as he hurried across the hangar deck. <em> So where am I going? </em></p>
<p><em> Dagobah, </em>came the short answer. Yoda could be talkative when he wanted to be annoying, but suddenly he was the soul of brevity when it came to imparting anything useful. Luke didn't remember much about that planet from his tapes. Non-human sentient life. And damn, another jungle.</p>
<p>Feeling jaunty and self-satisfied, he tapped on the door seven times even though there wasn't a special code. And, oh-oh, there was the group that was the bane of his existence: Dodonna, Willard, Narra, and… damn, Boss. "Hi!" he said brightly. "I'm glad you sent for me because I have something to ask you."</p>
<p>Commander Narra sighed and pressed his hand against his temple.</p>
<p>"Do you realize you always sigh when you see me?" Luke pointed out. "Why is that?"</p>
<p>"Because I feel a headache coming on whenever your face appears."</p>
<p>"Oh."</p>
<p>"Sit down," Commander Willard said.</p>
<p>Luke sat next to Boss, sending him a smile that was not reciprocated with even a glance. "What did I do now?"</p>
<p>Dodonna was standing, arms folded. His head tilted to the right. "A shipment arrived for you."</p>
<p>"Really?" Luke jumped up. Dayan had come through—and so had Jovay! "That's great!" He took a few steps toward a large crate that was topped with two boxes, then stopped. "They've been <em> opened!" </em></p>
<p>"Of course they have," Narra said. "Standard procedure when a member of the Alliance receives a delivery from the Empire to our hidden base."</p>
<p>Standard—oh. Very funny. "About that…" Luke began, hesitating. "It's from Captain Jovay. He won't betray your… our location."</p>
<p>Willard raised an eyebrow. Luke was tired of that expression being directed at him so often. "He <em> won't.</em> And face it, my father probably already knows where you are, but he wants me here so… it's a win/win. I got what I need, and the base is still safe."</p>
<p>"You requested contact with Jovay," General Dodonna stated, "and we decided to disallow that. Command Dreis told you of our decision."</p>
<p>He looked at Boss who didn't meet his gaze. "He did. I disobeyed. But in fairness, you didn't allow me to argue your decision in person, you unilaterally dismissed me." No one was speaking so he continued defensively, "And it's just things I need— clothes from home mostly— because I don't <em> have </em> anything and I can't <em> buy </em> anything except socks and underwear on a twenty-five-credit-a-month allowance."</p>
<p>"You had these clothes on Tatooine?" Willard asked mildly. "They're exceptionally fine quality."</p>
<p>Great, his dad sent him the good outfits! "Not the 'expensive Imperial' argument again. No, not Tatooine, they're from the Devastator. Which wasn't my home for all that long, but that's where I last had clothes." Luke spread his hands. "Honestly, you're making a big fuss about nothing."</p>
<p>Narra rubbed his forehead. "And this?" He pushed forward a small box.</p>
<p>Luke removed the lid and parted the black velvet protective lining. The mineral shard glowed even against the darkness. "Ah!" he exclaimed with pleasure. "My crystal!" He looked at Boss. "Kaiburr. So I can fix the lightsaber."</p>
<p>Narra groaned. "We don't even issue you a blaster. I don't want you having a working lightsaber."</p>
<p>"You can't stop me!" Luke snapped indignantly, before realizing that they could indeed confiscate his saber. "Anyway… that gets to the reason I wanted to see you."</p>
<p>"Oh, do please continue." Dodonna seated himself and looked interested, but Luke knew sarcasm when he heard and saw it. First Yoda, now this guy.</p>
<p>He remained standing, fists on his hips like his dad stood when he expected obedience. "I need to borrow a ship. Nothing fancy, just a one-crew, long range shuttle with decent facilities… 'fresher, shower, galley, like that. Maybe the one we captured last month from that pirate."</p>
<p>Narra choked and shook his head.</p>
<p>"Are you having a problem, Commander?" Dodonna asked. "Do you need to be excused?"</p>
<p>"No, sir, I just usually... anticipate requests." Narra sobered and tried to speak, but shook his head again.</p>
<p>"I will bring it back," Luke said. "I <em> promise." </em></p>
<p>"Of course we believe you because you've never lied to us before."</p>
<p>Luke frowned. "I’ve never made a <em> promise </em> before. A promise means… giving your word of honor that can only be broken in the most extreme emergency." He silently thanked his father for this memorable lesson. "Because in the end, all a man has is his honor."</p>
<p>There was a brief, probably admiring, moment of silence.</p>
<p>"If I may," Willard interjected. "Why do you want a shuttle?"</p>
<p>"Thanks for asking." Luke smiled brightly. "I want to go train with a Jedi Master and there are no transports that go where I need to go."</p>
<p>"And where is that?"</p>
<p>He hesitated. "I don't think I should say. Since he's… you know… in hiding."</p>
<p>"There are no Jedi Masters left," Boss said quietly. "They were all killed in the Purge."</p>
<p>"Well, not exactly," Luke answered carefully. "Kenobi was my neighbor growing up so—"</p>
<p>"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Dodonna exclaimed. "General Kenobi is alive?"</p>
<p>"Not any longer." Luke waved away the question because he had no kind thoughts for the man who'd skewed his life so profoundly. "He died years ago in a Tusken attack outside Anchorhead. My point is, if he lived, others did. Or at least one more."</p>
<p>Willard shook his head. "If Kenobi survived and possibly others, why would Vader let them live?"</p>
<p>It gave him a secret thrill to flaunt his dad's wisdom in their faces. "My father said, 'you never know when you might have a use for a Jedi Master'. He wants me to be trained."</p>
<p>"This is <em> not </em> helping you." For the first time, Boss looked at him. "Why would Vader want you to train as a Jedi?"</p>
<p>"Well, he can't train me as a Sith," Luke explained patiently, though he didn't understand why they didn't get it. "The Emperor would know and… whoosh, off with my head."</p>
<p>Narra laughed nervously. "I <em> am </em> having a breakdown… or possibly hallucinating."</p>
<p>"Compose yourself, Commander," the general ordered sternly. "Why would the Emperor kill you?"</p>
<p>Were they dense? "Because I'm not a Sith. My— Vader doesn't want me to be because it's a… horrible life. He doesn't want that for me. He wants me to…" Luke paused. What <em>did</em> his dad want from him other than ruling the galaxy at his side? "I think he wants me to represent the Third Side." Warming to the idea, he turned to Boss. "On my tapes, there was a mention of Shadow Jedi. It sounded like they were… police, sort of. But if I could be Third Side, I could call myself a Shadow Jedi. In between Darkness and Light." <em> Maybe my dad could be that too, </em>but he didn't say so.</p>
<p>Willard drummed his fingers on the table. No one spoke. Luke eyed the boxes and crate. "While you're thinking, mind if I…? Thanks." No point in waiting for an answer that would probably never come.</p>
<p>He squatted on the floor and opened the first box. A cloak! A wonderful, Dad-like black cloak. He could imagine himself striding around the base with it billowing around him. Next box was a pair of (expensive Imperial) black boots. The crate held his black mini-Vader uniforms, a miniscule bag that must contain very few creds, some new utilitarian gray cargo pants and jackets (hah, permission from Dad to go to Dagobah!) and more educational tapes. <em> Just how long do you think I'll be gone, Dad? This is another year's worth! </em></p>
<p>Still, it was a satisfactory haul. Rising, he grabbed the box and examined his crystal. It was clear and sharp. When he touched it, he felt a tingle run up his arm. <em> You must meditate on a crystal before using it… until it becomes yours. </em> He wondered how long that took. Yoda could tell him. Maybe even help him with it.</p>
<p>"We'll discuss it. You're dismissed," Dodonna said. "Commander Dreis, you're dismissed also."</p>
<p>"Okay," Luke said cheerfully, struggling with his treasures. "Oh, and Commander? I'll need a blaster when I leave. Please."</p>
<p>If they didn't loan him a shuttle, he'd take one. His father had told him about old Jedi adventures that often seemed to involve "confiscating" vehicles for emergencies. And going to Dagobah was definitely an emergency, sort of.</p>
<p>Balancing the crate and boxes, he had to hurry to catch Boss who was walking very fast. "Wait up! These things are heavy."</p>
<p>Garven turned on him. "How did you contact Jovay?"</p>
<p><em> Oh. </em>Luke bit his lip. "I sent a message."</p>
<p>"How?" Then a harsh laugh was torn from Dreis's throat as he realized. "That guy—?"</p>
<p>Luke nodded.</p>
<p>"You <em> used </em> me. I gave you another chance and you <em> used </em> me."</p>
<p>"Sorry, I—"</p>
<p>"Did you use <em>him</em> too? Was it a setup from the beginning? The bar, the—"</p>
<p>"No!" Luke shifted his armload. "When I saw him a few days ago, after Command turned me down, and he was trying to get home… I just…. I had to do it. This is important. I'm sorry. I didn't think you would—"</p>
<p>"Try thinking about someone else next time, not just yourself," Boss snapped. "Drop off your… gifts… and get back to work."</p>
<p>"Yes, sir." He bit back a retort that he <em> had </em> been thinking and had been successful. "I asked for permission first!" he called as he struggled toward the barracks.</p>
<p>Sometimes you just had to act. His dad taught him that. Not everything succeeded with a "please".</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>"This is really nice," Wedge said enviously, fingering the fabric of the cloak. "Soft, but it's an armored weave."</p>
<p>"Where did you get all this?" Hobbie asked, shooting him a look of disbelief.</p>
<p>"Did somebody a favor," Luke said vaguely. They were sitting on the floor, sifting through his clothes.</p>
<p>Janson frowned. "Must've been <em> some </em> favor. Hey, it wasn't that—"</p>
<p>"No!" Luke interrupted. "Actually it was from a relative… an old friend."</p>
<p>"So you did a favor for an old friend who also happens to be a relative." Sitting at the table, Zev leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Maybe someday you'll tell us the truth, Oz."</p>
<p>"Maybe someday," he agreed.</p>
<p>"Or not," Boss said caustically from the corner where he slumped. "Your whole life is a lie, why start telling the truth now?"</p>
<p>His fingers froze around the shirt he held and he stared at them. Yeah… so maybe it was… true. All his truths were lies. He was the son of Vader like they told him, that was true… but he had lied about that his entire life. Was still lying about it. Because the one big truth had necessitated an endless litany of lies upon lies. He <em> knew </em> that. But for Boss to <em> say </em> it… that hurt. A lot. Belatedly he noticed the room had gone quiet. He should say something, laugh it off, brush it aside… but it hurt.</p>
<p>Wedge released the end of the cloak but remained sitting beside him. Porkins and Zev were quiet at the table.</p>
<p>"Ouch," Janson murmured, and Hobbie clucked unhappily.</p>
<p>"Krit. I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Luke nodded but didn't trust his voice.</p>
<p>"Not cool, Boss," Zev said evenly.</p>
<p>"I know. I said I'm sorry. I was wrong to say it."</p>
<p>"No…" Luke struggled to get the words out, "You're right. My life is a lie, it always has been." He bit his lip and looked across the room at Garven. "Do you think I <em> wanted </em> it that way? Don't you think that if I could live it over, none of it would have happened? Do you think I <em> wanted </em> to be different, to always have to lie to everyone, even my best friend, about <em> everything? </em> To have the one person I can be honest with, that I can be myself with, turn about to be the one person I have to lie <em> about?" </em> He couldn't stop the words that kept tumbling out.</p>
<p>"Oz—"</p>
<p>"Don't call me that." He was sick of that name, sick of trying to remember who he should be, who people expected him to be. "I've had four names in my life—or is it five, I don't remember any more—and I only ever wanted <em> one, </em>a real one. I should have had only one name! Everyone has only one name!" Except Skywalkers and Vaders.</p>
<p>Someone tried to put an arm around him and he shoved it away. "Don't! Don't help me. I have to… I have to keep it together." He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself like his dad tried to show him. <em> Breathe in slowly… hold… breathe out. </em>Over and over.</p>
<p>"Gods," Boss whispered. "I didn't mean…."</p>
<p>"What do you want us to call you?" Wedge asked gently. "If not Oz…?"</p>
<p>"Call me Oz," Luke said tiredly. "That's the only one I'm allowed to be."</p>
<p>Boss was standing now, hovering. "I…."</p>
<p>He shook his head. "It's all right. Look… I have these clothes because I'm leaving for awhile. I'll be back, I just don't know when."</p>
<p>There was a silence before Porkins asked: "Where are you going?"</p>
<p>Luke gave a short, uneven laugh. "I'm going to train with a Jedi Master. No, they're not all dead. Maybe he can… help me get it together. Force knows, I'm not doing very well on my own, and I screw up other people's lives too."</p>
<p>"Whatever we can do to help," Zev mumbled, uncharacteristically awkward.</p>
<p>"Thanks, I'm fine. Just a minor meltdown." He heaved a shaky sigh. "But Janson, you can help me pack. I know you'll do a fine job folding. Just the boring gray ones. Boss, can I leave the rest of my things here? You'll probably get a new mechanic, but if I could store this…?"</p>
<p>"Of course. You'll have a place here when you return… probably won't want to be a Jedi mechanic, though."</p>
<p>"Whatever. As long as I have a place to go."</p>
<p>"You'll always have a place here," Hobbie said fiercely. "You're part of our posse."</p>
<p>"Family," Porkins clarified firmly.</p>
<p>Luke smiled sadly and tucked the memory of this moment into his heart, keeping it safe in case it never happened again. And at the rate he screwed up things, that was a definite possibility.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578542/chapters/59732413">The Truth Interludes: Chapter 6</a> follows this chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Changeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Luke trains with Yoda, but it’s not what he expected.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not wanting to keep Luke away from the Alliance for a lengthy period, I'm going with someone else's brilliant theory that time passes faster on Dagobah.<br/>Corresponds with FFN 52</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a nice ship. A luxurious, expensive ship, suited for a wealthy smuggler or gambler. Arbitrarily, he decided to name it Fixer. Not the most elegant name, but if it was as reliable as his old friend, he was in good hands. The galley was well stocked and it had an adequate sonic shower so he could at least stay clean in yet another sticky, disgusting mess of a jungle. He was surprised and pleased that the Alliance had been thoughtful enough to provide a plush, "O" monogrammed robe in the closet, plus a rack that would hold both pairs of boots nicely. And even drawers and hangers to hold his working clothes as well as the black Jedi-ish uniform and cloak he'd brought in case there was some formal occasion that Yoda might wish him to attend. He'd tried to research more on Dagobah but there was very little, which seemed odd. Evidently there were no resources worth exploiting and no sites worth exploring. There wasn't even mention of towns or buildings, so it was good he was bringing his own resources.</p><p>
  <span>"Ready to go?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke nodded. "Boss…" he began. "I...don't want to leave on a… well, without apologizing again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Garven shook his head. "Don't bother. We've both apologized. That's good enough for me. You?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, sure. And tell the guys bye again. I'll miss all of you. Be careful."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Boss smiled, but neglected to say that they would miss Luke too. "Safe journey."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. It wasn't the satisfying departure he'd wanted, but maybe time away would correct the balance between them. Friends were too precious to lose, especially those whose lives were fragile and endangered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be cautious, be wary… be here when I return.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a safe journey, but stars! such a long trip through hyperspace, hours and hours. And hours. Still, imagine if the ship didn't have hyperdrive… it would've taken days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke sat down to an excellent dinner of nerf steak and greens. He could get used to this sort of menu, though he wondered why the Alliance could stock this ship so well but not feed its members adequately. Maybe the Command officers ate like this every evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A series of beeps signaled their imminent exit from hyper. He strapped himself in while he devoured a slice of cocoacake, the perfect end to a dull trip. After the ship jerked and the stars returned to normal, he cleared the dishes and cleaned the galley, which reminded him of helping Aunt Beru— not that she ever wanted much help. She'd always shoo him away, saying she enjoyed her time alone in the kitchen. He could still see her standing there in her favorite blue dress and a half-smile on her face as she looked at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was grateful to push back those thoughts when another series of tones indicated their approach to the planet. The atmosphere was thick with clouds; he could see the turbulence before he felt it. "Hang on, Fix! We're in for a bumpy ride."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowing speed as much as he dared, Luke searched in vain for some landmarks that might indicate a landing zone, but there was nothing except heavy clouds. Still… there was something familiar guiding him… which made no sense unless it was Yoda. If that was the case, he could probably relax and let go of the controls—but he wasn't about to do that. It occurred to him that he should have taken a different type of ship, one that could hold an astromech droid. But noooo, Oz had to do it all on his own— idiot!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a major understatement to say it was a bumpy landing, but Fixer seemed to settle in a clearing that looked barely large enough to hold the ship. "Almost like we came down vertically, Fix, which shouldn't be possible." How in the name of the gods he was going to take off again was a mystery he wouldn't consider now. Worry about it later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugged on a jacket and checked his appearance in the 'fresher mirror, hoping to be properly presentable to a Jedi Master. He clipped the useless lightsaber hilt to his belt and tucked the crystal into his breast pocket. Maybe having it near his heart was as good as meditating on it. Although with the tremors it gave off, it was equally possible that it would send him into cardiac arrest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One last look at his reflection before he opened the hatch and lowered the ramp. Oh, ick. It wasn't hot, but it was so wet. And muddy. There were puddles with little things swirling in them. And flying insects around his head. He was going to get filthy. Hopefully, the Jedi training facility was indoors… wherever it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sneezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He never sneezed. Was he getting sick… or did a bug fly up his—? Ick. He swiped his sleeve across his nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Circling the perimeter of the clearing, he finally found a slick, rugged path that led to a small, lumpy…. Was that a house? Luke frowned as he approached. "Hello? Anybody home?" He knocked on the door. No answer. Now what was he supposed to do? And why was it so tiny?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He prowled around the outside, circling the entire structure in a few seconds. It looked like it was covered with mud, probably the same process as they used on Tatooine to make structures of sand. Really, this building was the only thing in his surroundings that looked remotely civilized and comfortable (comfortable being a relative term). Maybe he should return to his ship. The air was colder than expected and it was… strange, as if it were constantly in motion. It set all his nerves on edge and he wondered if coming here was the good idea it had seemed when he'd impetuously decided to—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sneezed again. Oh, great…. Maybe he was allergic to this Sith-forsaken place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Second thoughts, you are having?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He whirled, and the hand that went automatically to his blaster was immediately stilled. He'd recognize that voice anywhere. "Yoda!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well… the Jedi Master was short and green, very, very wrinkled, a little dirty, with ears that would make a gundark proud, and long hairs sticking out in all directions from his head. All four limbs ended in claws, which made Luke glad there were only four.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not what you expected, I am?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke sighed. "The way you speak, I didn't know what to expect."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ears drooped and the wide mouth scowled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh… Master," Luke added quickly, and the mouth relented, ears straightening slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come, this way… No time to waste there is. Begin your training we must."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the rush?" But he followed behind the slowly hobbling creature, slogging through the muck, his boots making sucking sounds with each step. Those big feet and claws really helped the little guy get around in this mudhole. "Where are we going?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dying I am. Train you I must. Quickly."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait— what? What do you mean 'dying?" Luke stopped but Yoda didn't, so he was forced to hurry after him. "What do you mean?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nine hundred years old, time it is to go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stopped for no reason Luke could see. There was no building, no school, no training site, only rocks and mud. And things hanging from the trees… some of which </span>
  <em>
    <span>moved. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This was not the place for a desert kid. "But… but… I've come so far to train with you, Master! You can't die, not yet!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not keeling over immediately," Yoda snapped. "If stop talking </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> will, begin work </span>
  <em>
    <span>we</span>
  </em>
  <span> will… and much to be done it appears."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine." He'd come voluntarily and if the price he had to pay to become a Jedi involved being insulted and covered in mud and filth, at least he had a clean ship and good food to go back to every night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sneezed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, right. By the time he got back to the ship each "night"— if it was night, who could tell, it was so dark all the time— he could only grab a quick meal, a shower, and fall sound asleep except for waking over and over in the night to blow his nose. And then before he knew it, it was "morning"— maybe— and Yoda was sounding some mental alarm that it was time to get to work again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no conception of time, how long the "days" were or how long he had been on this planet. It seemed like forever. He was exhausted but energized at the same time. The Force… wow…. He had known nothing before, and his dad had barely allowed him to glimpse his power. But now...oh, wow….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rock in front of him was suddenly more interesting. Sure, he could raise it or make it slide or spin or fly away (except for those times when he sneezed and dropped it) but there was something else that he was beginning to sense. Luke closed his eyes and focused, waiting, reaching... and was rewarded. He could see that the rock was made of incalculably small particles that seemed to stretch into infinity… except he could close his fist and grab them, hold on, release them or squeeze them tightly, shatter them like they were nothing more permanent than—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Startled, he released the rock….or what had </span>
  <em>
    <span>been</span>
  </em>
  <span> the rock. Nothing of it remained, except minute specks of dust suspended in the air. "What happened?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yoda shook his head. "The Force is not to be used for destruction."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that what I did? And why can't it be used for destruction, what's wrong with that? Some things </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be destroyed."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So like your father are you." Yoda gestured. "Look at the snake."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eww. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was curled around a branch above them. Luke moved slightly so it wasn't directly over his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Same particles, grains of life that form all beings. Destroyed like the rock life can be, if careless you are."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wasn't careless," he protested. "I was just—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Seeing what you could do. Know you now. Destroy you can, it comes naturally to you, not protection and repair."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's not fair! Should I…" Luke hesitated. "Do you want me to try again with the snake? Would it come apart like—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No!" Agitated, Yoda rose and walked away, Luke following. "Life is in your hands— mind what you are learning! Saving, protecting, they are the path of Light. Taking, destroying, the easy path they are, the Dark path… the path your father travels. You must not follow."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He resented the attacks on his father. "You don't know him. You don't understand. He loves me, he—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. Love he has, too much... and into anger and hatred it turns. Destructive it is to those closest to him, even himself."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know." But he had faith that his father would never turn on him… if only because Darth Vader didn't want to be alone again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You think that?" Yoda glared at him fiercely. "Alone is what he knows, what he wants. Alone is the easy path."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Easy…." Surprised at his own insight, he understood the concept and felt a hint of contentment emanating from the idea. No expectations from anyone, no pressures other than what he brought to himself. There was a certain purity in isolation. Yes, an easiness. But Yoda was wrong, that wasn't what his father wanted. Not any longer. Not now that someone loved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Enough. In you must go."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"In?" Luke looked from Yoda's pointing finger to a grotesquely twisted tree. No, it was a hole under the tree. A hole big enough to climb into. "Why?" A sense of dread filtered into him. "What's in there? It feels wrong." He sniffled and wiped his nose on his cuff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yoda shrugged. "The future… the past… what may be… what was… what must be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, that was clear as… mud. Luke sighed heavily. Yoda would nag him until he did it, so he stepped cautiously down— and down and down, climbing on roots and trying not to mistake snakes for handholds. "This is disgusting." Oh, for sand and broiling heat again! Let him face a womprat or krayt dragon any day and he'd be fine, but this slimy stuff….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was dark and slippery. He ventured a few feet, but couldn't see anything. He needed the lightsaber to illuminate his path. Why wouldn't Yoda help him with it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ahead there was a glow… pale green, maybe yellow, maybe white. It kept changing colors before it coalesced into a blindingly clear light that scorched through his eyelids. The incandescence kept coming closer, and he clutched his blaster, uncertain if it was useful but sure that he needed some kind of protection. The light was burning, he felt its heat on his skin, and he held up his free hand to help shade his eyes further, then thrust his palm outward, clenching his fingers, focusing on the tiny particles— and the light exploded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the split second before the brilliance disintegrated, he saw Yoda prone in the mud and then— nothing. No body, no… remains. Like it had never happened. Which it probably hadn't. Illusions were the norm on this world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trembling, Luke holstered his blaster. Had he just destroyed Yoda— was it a premonition or a nightmare? He climbed up the root system, stumbling in his haste to get out of there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yoda was still sitting on the rock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What was that? What did it mean?" His voice was shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Destruction. Completion. Beginning and end, the same they are. Guide you to complete the lightsaber, it is time." Yoda slid onto the ground and looked up at him with an expression that seemed at once disappointed and relieved. "End me with it you will. Finished your training is. No more time remains. Know now what you need."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke stared after him for a long moment before he followed the Jedi Master back to his house.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The crystal created a lightsaber blade that flared red. Luke knew it should have been blue, if he was pure and a Jedi. But he'd used the Force to destroy so he wasn't worthy. He had somehow already earned a blood-red blade like his father's, though he hadn't killed anyone with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unless the lightsaber held memories. Unless it remembered its last murders in the temple… Jedi younglings….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Master Yoda, if the Force can destroy life, can it also—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," the old Jedi stated firmly. "Creation of life, not the right of a Jedi."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not the </span>
  <em>
    <span>right?" </span>
  </em>
  <span>he questioned. "So it </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> be done! What about regeneration of limbs and body parts?" If he could repair his dad's wounds, give him back his arms and legs and lungs and—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No!" Yoda hesitated. "Disaster the result would be. Against the natural order such a thing would be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whose natural order? Who decides?" Luke snapped. "You? The Jedi— the ones who are gone?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Some things, not attempted should they be. Lead only to failure and disappointment, they do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Enough. Taught you all that you are able to learn." Yoda rose wearily from the log next to his door. "Inside. Rest I must."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit back a retort— </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine!—</span>
  </em>
  <span> and crawled on his hands and knees through the doorway that had been built for… well, yodas. "Thanks for helping with my lightsaber."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yours it is not. Your father's it was, but make do with it you will until you build your own. Perhaps different, yours may be. Perhaps not." The little creature folded his hands, and Luke settled uncomfortably across from him. "Tell you now what more you need."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke remained silent, a habit that was becoming slightly easier to maintain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sanctuary it is here on Dagobah. Vader, the Emperor cannot penetrate its Force shield."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But my father knew you lived."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not where. If known he had, confront me he would have." The ears drooped. "Left me alone until his son he discovered. A son whose training he could not accomplish himself without knowledge by the Emperor. A son to use for his own ends."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you said—"</span>
</p><p>"Listen, you must."</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry." As usual, more questions than answers, the history of his life condensed it was. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, great, now I sound like Yoda.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sanctuary for you also. The time may come when hide from your father you must."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, that will never—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And hide from the Emperor."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, okay…." He subsided when Yoda stared at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nine hundred years have I lived. At an end, my time is." Yoda sounded both relieved and regretful. "When I am gone, a void in the Force there will be— an imbalance. Unless….."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh-oh. ‘Unless’ was as bad as ‘just one more thing’. "Unless what?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Linger, my lifeforce must not, nor dissipate gradually. Listen to me…." Yoda's sharp fingers curled around his wrist. "Slay me, you must. Take my place, so no break in the Light there is. No empty moment for the Sith to seize. Strong you must be to hold against the Darkness inside you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What! No way! You said—</span>
  <em>
    <span> I can't kill you! </span>
  </em>
  <span>What would that make me? You said destruction isn't the way of the Jedi!" Luke tried to stand and immediately his head connected with the ceiling. "Ow! Master Yoda!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A terrible task it is that I ask of you." Yoda nodded and released him. "But done it must be and capable you are. Protect you it will from Palpatine's awareness. Me for you. A distraction it will provide, for awhile. Long enough to—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To what?" He'd never learned how to swim, but he knew this must be what people meant when they said they'd been thrown into the deep end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To discover what is and what could be. What your father could still be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gods! Do you have to be so </span>
  <em>
    <span>cryptic?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Just </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell</span>
  </em>
  <span> me!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Learn the rest on your own you must."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, you probably don't know. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He glared at the master. "So am I a Jedi yet?" A blood-stained Jedi… or a Sith?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. One more thing must you do."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And there it was, the ‘one more thing’. "What?" he asked suspiciously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You already know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like hitting his head on the ceiling a few more times. "Okay, look… I'm going back to the ship for dinner and—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kill me you must. Now. Delay we cannot. Time… I have little left."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Luke shook his head, both in denial and because he had the horrible sensation of everything around him falling apart again. Particularly his life. Everyone manipulating him, controlling his life— He could see it as it happened, every thought and word as they unfolded, the present, the future….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For you… I cannot see." Yoda shrugged. "The future… the past… what may be… what was… what must be. My death."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. I can't believe you're saying this. It's… against everything you've been teaching me. You just said that taking a life is wrong." Yeah, right. The Jedi hadn't been examples of that philosophy if history and his dad's stories were any indication.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the Death Star. His thoughts always came back to that, to people across the galaxy crying because of what he'd done. Because of the people he'd killed, what he'd killed, the futures, the dreams, the fatherless children.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes." Yoda tilted his head. "Finish your task and a wonderment awaits, it does."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" How many times had he asked that? "Did you just say 'kill me and you get a prize'?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yoda almost smiled. "Strike me down with your lightsaber. Time it is."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! I can't! Why are you telling me this?!" He kept shaking his head, feeling panic setting in as the Jedi remained inflexible. "This is against </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Seems that way to you, it must, but reasons there are beyond what you may know. For the galaxy, for the Light, for your destiny. For your father. For me, the end approaches, by your hand or by the natural order." Yoda nodded and closed his eyes. "Better a higher purpose to have for my end, not a meaningless departure." He made a small gesture toward Luke. "Take up your lightsaber."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt the tears that raced hot down his face. But Yoda said it was for his </span>
  <em>
    <span>father. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Still, he shook his head but unhooked his saber and pointed it at the small Jedi. "Please don't…." It was so wrong, just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong, </span>
  </em>
  <span>who was </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> that these choices were forced upon him… why did he have to kill… all those people, millions, now the last Jedi Master…. "Please, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span> don't make me... I don't want to be…. No, I can't. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can't."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can. You are. You will. Finish this final test and Jedi you will be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't see through the tears, his vision blurred and wet. "Oh, please no..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Your forgiveness I ask. But do this you must. For him. For me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No…." </span>
  <em>
    <span>But for my father….</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He thumbed the hilt, closing his eyes when he heard the hum, knowing the instant it pierced through the tiny body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning off the saber, he bent double, sobbing like he'd never done in his life. "Why...why…." He forced himself to look up, expecting to see—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, Force, there was no body! He hadn't meant to </span>
  <em>
    <span>disintegrate</span>
  </em>
  <span> Yoda, he didn't know how he'd done it, it was like the rock… he was evil, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so evil, </span>
  </em>
  <span>destruction came naturally to him. Just like it had to his father. Yoda told him, Ben had warned him….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was why his lightsaber was born with the color of blood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He crawled outside, heedless of the rain and mud, knowing only terrible pain ripping his heart apart, knowing he'd never stop crying, never be a Jedi, never be whole again, never—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ground trembled, skies thundered, heavy wet leaves dropped snakes on him. He saw….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything. And nothing. Reality froze. He was standing…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...in the cave.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Return of the Parental Unit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Luke and Yoda are at odds until someone interferes.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Corresponds with FFN 53.<br/>After reading "Compromising" (by Samvelg on Ao3, please go read this adorable Piett &amp; Luke &amp; Vader story) I fell in love with the use of Tatooine Slave Language, namely "Ipa" and "Em Vikka", which was credited to Fialleril's creation of the Amatakka language for some brilliant stories, including the Double Agent Vader and more (see those stories here on FFN and on Ao3). So many thanks to Fialleril for creating and generously sharing the evocative dialect with everyone. I have borrowed those two terms for this story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>OooOoo</strong>
</p><p><br/>
"You <em> bastard." </em></p><p>
  <em> —Luke shook his head, both in denial and because he had the horrible sensation of everything around him falling apart again. Particularly his life. Everyone manipulating him, controlling his life— </em>
</p><p>"It's over. No more. If you're going to die, you'll do without my 'help'. I won't be used by you again. I don't know your endgame or whatever you hope to do to me— or my father— but I'm not playing any longer." He was enraged by the betrayal and terrified by what he'd done, but the heat coursing through him froze when it struck the ice in his veins.</p><p>Yoda was silent, still sitting outside the cave, drawing lines in the dirt with his cane.</p><p>"Do you <em> hear </em> me? I'm done with your manipulation, with— whatever you're trying to do!"</p><p>"Did to you nothing you have not done to yourself." Yoda slid off the log. "Failed you did, twice, in the cave, but learned also. A memorable teacher is failure."</p><p>
  <em> Then you should have learned a lesson too, Jedi Master. </em>
</p><p>"Still willing are you to risk your soul for your father. Redeemed he will never be. Turn him back to the Light you cannot."</p><p>"Dark, Light— they don't matter." He was shaking with frustration and tension. "He's my father and I will always love him. That's what you don't understand." Luke pulled the lightsaber off his belt and pressed the igniter to check. Nothing. No red blade, no blade at all. That had been an illusion, too.</p><p>"Your father's saber you should not use. Corrupted it is."</p><p>"Maybe the blade is." His lips curled. "But my <em> father </em> isn't corrupted— he is <em> damaged. </em> What happened to him was done by the Jedi. By your neglect and endless criticism. <em> You </em> pushed him away, <em> you </em> never wanted him, <em> you </em> refused to train him, <em> you </em> abandoned him to Kenobi— who failed my father and did his damnedest to ruin my life too. <em> You </em> made the decisions, <em> you </em> directed the Council— <em> you </em> ruined his potential, <em> you </em> destroyed what he could have been— <em> should </em> have been. Fear, power, jealousy, whatever motivated you— If the Jedi disappear, it's on <em> you." </em></p><p>"Wrong you are!" The little master waved his stick. "Your father… an aberration he was, never should have existed. The best we could, we did for him."</p><p>"Liar." The fire threatened to rekindle inside him, and he allowed the embers to sizzle even as he kept the flames banked. "Struck a chord, did I? Stop blaming him. It's over. There are no more Jedi. When you're gone, there will never be another to study or to train. You've failed, because <em> I’ve </em> learned from you— and what I've learned is that I don't <em> want </em> to be a Jedi."</p><p>Ears drooped. "Sith you must not—"</p><p>"I don't want to be a Sith either," he hissed. "I don't have to be a <em> what, </em> I'm a <em> who, </em>I'm a person, not a slave to the Force! That's not what my father wants for me— or for himself!"</p><p>Yoda's mouth turned down. "Think you not? Ask him yourself."</p><p>"I will!" If the day ever came when his father forgave him. "I've had enough. I'm leaving. Go ahead and die or not, I don't care and I'm sure as hell not helping you do it." His breath caught in his throat, remembering his desperation in the cave. "I don't care! Do you hear me?"</p><p>But Yoda was looking above him, dismay plainly displayed with the bend of his ears.</p><p><em> "I </em> hear you… young one."</p><p>Luke whirled around.</p><p>And sighed.</p><p>Darth Vader. Fists planted on his hips. Big, dark, commanding and… <em> an illusion…. </em></p><p>"I'm still in the cave," he muttered angrily. "I'll never get out. I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life. And I'll probably live forever. I may as well have stayed on Tatooine and jumped into the Sarlaac's mouth."</p><p>"Do not indulge in melodrama. I have no patience for it."</p><p>Startled, he peered closely. An illusion wouldn't rip into his memory this deeply… or would it? Had it done that in the cave? Or not…? Cautiously, he reached out and touched Vader's arm. It felt solid. "Are you real?" he whispered. "Don't lie to me. I can't take it right now."</p><p>One gloved hand covered his own. "I am real, <em> em vikka." </em></p><p>He'd never heard the words before, yet he knew them intimately. <em> My son. </em>"You're real!" He launched himself toward the massive chest.</p><p>A single strong arm wrapped around his back in a quick embrace, lifting him off his feet a few inches before lowering and releasing him. But the thick cloak swallowed him, seemingly swirling on its own volition. "You are a very strange child."</p><p>"I have a very strange father." He smiled tentatively, embarrassed by the memory of the scene behind those words, and ducked his head under the ridge of the helmet.</p><p>"Here, you should not be," Yoda muttered. "Not possible."</p><p>Luke sensed a grim smile behind the mask. "Nothing is impossible between a father and his son. If you had ever had a child, you would understand." One arm moved him to the side. "Now, old troll, as my son said: do as you will, die or not— but on your own terms. You are no martyr, and neither of us will assist you in committing suicide by Jedi. <em> Em vikka, </em>let us—"</p><p>Luke sneezed.</p><p>"Sorry… I think I'm allergic…."</p><p>The black cloak was offered to his face. "No thanks!" Suppressing a smile, he wiped his nose on his own sleeve. No doubt remained in his mind— this was his dad!</p><p>Vader gestured. "Let us go to your ship and leave the troll—"</p><p>"Wait." He turned toward Yoda for the last time. "Thanks for… the good things that I learned. Maybe some of the bad things too. Good luck in the Jedi afterlife if there is one. If you end up in Jedi Purgatory, say hi to Kenobi for me." There was more he needed to say, but the day's disturbing events weighed heavily on him and he was too bitter and bewildered to sort out his feelings. "Okay," he said to his father, "I'm ready."</p><p>Still, as they walked away he couldn't help but turn around for a last look at the old Master. "And if you ever dare—"</p><p><em> Enough! </em>his father snarled, and Luke subsided with a perplexed glance at him.</p><p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p><p>"Clean yourself."</p><p>His father sounded almost angry, but he had often been that way when they were together so this was the norm for him. On the other hand, Luke felt happier and more relieved than he'd been in months. No, he thought with a touch of melancholy. It was nearly a year since he'd been with his father anywhere outside their heads. He missed the physical contact… most of it. Not the choking or the hand shearing incident, of course, but being in his father's overwhelming presence evoked warm sensations of being part of a family, being wanted.</p><p>But now was not a time for sadness or reflection on the nightmare of his day. They were together for at least tonight and he was determined to enjoy their time. Showering off the mud quickly, he dressed in his black formal Jedi/Sith-ish clothes and hurried to the galley. A nerf steak— the last one stocked in the cooling unit— sizzled on a plate next to a pile of vegetables.</p><p>"You <em> cooked? </em> I mean… <em> you </em> cooked?"</p><p>His father ignored the questions. Indeed, there was no sign of heating equipment. Maybe the Force could broil a steak.</p><p>"You do not have milk."</p><p>He grinned. "I didn't know how long I'd be gone and how long it would keep and how to store it."</p><p>"Perfectly logical excuses for you," Darth Vader intoned. "Sit and eat. I will return shortly."</p><p>"What? Where are you going?" He dodged to block the hatchway. "You're not going to kill Yoda, are you? And you're not <em> leaving!" </em></p><p>"I will allow no easy release for the troll. I am retrieving supplies from my ship so I may stay here tonight." The glove was smooth against his cheek. <em> "Em vikka, </em> do not worry so."</p><p>"You never called me that before," he stated but heard a question in his voice.</p><p>"I did, many times. You could not hear." A thumb rubbed his chin. "You and I have a different connection now. There will be better understanding between us… in more than words."</p><p>"Because I know more of the Force?"</p><p>"Yes. And of yourself. Your time away from me has been… worth the stress of separation." But there was uncertainty in the words. Vader's hand dropped and he seemed to visibly shake off misgivings, for which one of them Luke didn't know. "Eat. I will return shortly."</p><p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p><p>It was both comforting and unsettling to watch Darth Vader prowling around the ship, inspecting every inch. He stopped at the closet and a black gauntlet tugged a sleeve of the white robe. "So… this ship is the property of Princess Organa?"</p><p>"What? No. And you promised not to… use anything you learned from me against her." He straightened on the cushioned banquette. "We confiscated the ship from a smuggler. Why would you think it's hers?"</p><p>Wordlessly his father pointed to the "O" on the front pocket of the robe.</p><p>"That's for 'Oz'. The Alliance… did that for me." Oh… oh, <em> stars! </em>Thank the Force he hadn't put that on after showering. Vividly he pictured his father informing his son that he was parading around in a princess's robe.</p><p>His father's respirator made an odd sound, then Vader dropped the robe and crossed to sit next to him… at a 'respectful distance'.</p><p>However, Luke scooted over and rearranged himself against his father's shoulder, curling his fingers into the tabard and tucking his legs underneath him.</p><p>"What are you doing?"</p><p>"Well… sort of cuddling. Tolerate it. Pretend I'm five years old."</p><p>"That old?"</p><p>"Not much of a comedian. Keep your day job." He closed his eyes, satisfied to stay in this moment, accepting it wouldn't last long.</p><p>"You specified five." Vader hesitated. "Something happened to you then. What was it?"</p><p>"Oh." Luke tightened his grip on the fabric, pretending to smother his voice in it while surreptitiously rubbing his nose. "That was when Kenobi told me you were my father. That if I used the Force— not that I knew what it was or when I was using it, it was normal for me— that you would find me and kill me. Or make me evil like you."</p><p>"Five." His father's breathing hitched, and he could feel rage rising in the older man.</p><p><em> "Don't! </em> Don't be angry, not when we're finally together. It's over, he's gone. We can't change the past, you've said that yourself." He hesitated. "Father… Yoda said that what happened to me in the cave was only what I'd already done to myself. Do you know what he meant? Was it a vision of the past or the future? I don't understand."</p><p>"Do not be disappointed in your lack of comprehension. In the… temple… half the time people just nodded and agreed when he spoke."</p><p>"Yeah, but—" He corrected after his dad gave him the Look. "Yes, sir, but… um…."</p><p>"What do you expect from me— an explanation? You are responsible for your thoughts and actions, no one else."</p><p>"I know." <em> But the Darkness inside me… is it from you or did I create it? </em></p><p>"Answer your own questions," Vader snarled, then seemed to rein himself in. "Understanding will come in time."</p><p>"Okay. But why did you— I wanted to say more to Yoda, but you—"</p><p>"I stopped you from making a threat you could not fulfill. Still you do not understand my teachings."</p><p>He sighed. Boss had warned him about threats, too. "No, I <em> don't </em> understand. What difference does it make whether I threaten anyone or not? At least it gets people off my back." Except Yoda, who had enjoyed riding him and hitting him with the damn stick like they were in a race.</p><p>"A threat is a promise."</p><p>His breath hitched. "No, it's not." But it was, he saw that now. Oh, krit. "You mean if I threaten and don't follow through, I lose my honor?"</p><p>The helmet inclined. "Possibly."</p><p>"Great." It seemed like the list of acceptable things to say was getting shorter. "I'll be more careful."</p><p>"Is that a promise?"</p><p>"No, that's definitely a 'maybe'. I'll try, but I'm not perfect."</p><p>"Indeed. Also, it was improper that you were being disrespectful to your master."</p><p><em> "I </em> was being disrespectful?! You called him a troll to his face. Twice." Coming from Darth Vader, that scolding sounded suspiciously like hypocrisy.</p><p>"Nevertheless, you were his student. A certain level of respect must be shown to your teacher. As well as to your father."</p><p>The threatening storm subsided, but Luke knew it was only pushed aside not vanquished. "<em> Ipa… </em> " The address came unbidden, though he felt like he'd said it a long time ago or maybe dreamed it. <em> "Ipa, </em>are you still angry with me? I ruined your plans for both of us. I'm sorry, I just didn't think."</p><p>"We are very alike in some ways," Vader said heavily. "We act on our emotions. I understand why you acted, though I remain disappointed."</p><p>Luke flinched. "Sorry…."</p><p>"I was not as disappointed in you as in the structure of my plan and my lack of foresight. I should have considered your irrational reaction to the threat to your new companions. But understand this: we <em> will </em> succeed with a new plan no matter the repercussions."</p><p>"Figured out a plan, have you?" <em> Damn, did I just sound like Yoda again? </em></p><p>"Not completely. Luke, it was not totally my desire to sever our connection. It was necessary. The Emperor felt the Star's destruction and invaded my thoughts. He suspected betrayal. I could not risk his learning your identity as the pilot, or even that you were with the Alliance."</p><p>"Oh." A tremendous relief rushed through him. "I thought—"</p><p>"That I was angry at you. That is true. I still am." Vader shifted position away slightly, but wrapped part of his cloak around Luke, evidently indulging his son's need for closeness. "It will likely happen again in the future, so be prepared."</p><p>"What will happen, the anger or the no-speaking? Okay, I guess," he acquiesced when his father didn't respond. "But I hope neither of them happen." Reluctantly, he asked something else that had been bothering him. "Did he know that you could've saved the Death Star? Did he punish you?"</p><p>The silence dragged on so long that he knew the answer. "There is always punishment, child. That is why we must be cautious. I do not want you maimed or dead."</p><p>Luke swallowed, wondering what sort of tortures Palpatine inflicted on his father and how often. "I don't want you hurt either. I'll be more careful. I know that sometimes I'm reckless."</p><p>"I wonder from whom you inherited that gene?" Vader stroked his hair, and it occurred to Luke that maybe his father was as starved for contact as he was— Or was he simply mirroring his own needs onto the other man?</p><p>"Anyway… I'm sorry I messed up and you didn't get all the stuff you wanted."</p><p>"Vocabulary," his father warned, then sighed, though not unhappily. "As it turned out, I learned that the only 'stuff' I wanted was <em> you." </em></p><p>Luke chewed his lower lip to keep from gasping. "That's probably the nicest thing you've—"</p><p>"Yes," Vader responded uncomfortably. "I trust you were pleased with the items I sent."</p><p>"Yes, everything was great, thank you! Except for the crystal. I mean… I thought I used it and fixed your lightsaber, but it was only an illusion. I don't know how to rebuild it."</p><p>"We can use some materials from this ship to build your own saber. I will supervise the construction before we leave."</p><p><em> "We?" </em> he asked eagerly, pouncing on that one word. "We're going to leave together?"</p><p>"Unless you wish to stay on Dagobah, you are going back to the Alliance and I to the Empire."</p><p>"Oh." He frowned. "When? Not tonight?"</p><p>"So many worries, <em> em vikka. </em>Calm your heart. We have time. And now… included with your new education tapes, there are several that trace the history of the Sith from the beginning of their texts. Study them in detail. You will gain insight into the heritage of Darth Sidious and how we can use that infor—"</p><p>"Wait. Who is Darth Sidious?"</p><p>Vader paused. "The Emperor Palpatine. Do you not remember that?"</p><p>"No! Somebody forgot to mention it to me. So is 'Darth' a title?"</p><p>"Of course. We have discussed this before."</p><p>Luke sighed. "You talk a lot. I can't listen to <em> everything." </em></p><p>"I suggest you begin using your ears for the purpose for which they are intended. You know I am his Apprentice." The Dark Lord shook his head. "Best you study the Sith tapes before any others. Lack of knowledge is not an excuse for ignorance."</p><p>"Well…." Luke bit his lip. "Then… Darth Vader is your title? Not your name?"</p><p>"Correct."</p><p>"Then…." He stopped, feeling tension rising in his father and understanding that he shouldn't utter the name of his first, lost self. Maybe there was another route. "I thought of calling myself Luke Skywalker-hyphen-Vader. No?"</p><p>"Not five minutes ago you said you would be more careful," his father chastised. "I regret that you dislike 'Oz', but any other name would attract the attention of spies and word would reach Sidious. Already you have been far too free with your words. You must be more—"</p><p>"Circumspect, I know." He sighed.</p><p>"If you cannot be, you may anticipate that I will correct your indiscretions."</p><p>Hmm…. He didn't want to dwell on that threat. "So… do you think Sidious has spies in the Alliance?"</p><p>"Of course. You must be wary. If you find one, contact me for instructions."</p><p>"How would I find one? They won't be wearing signs!"</p><p>"You will sense them. Luke, you do not appreciate the additional extent of your abilities. You will be more aware in many ways." Vader shook his head, not attempting to hide his aggravation. "Your life depends on your perceptions and observations."</p><p>"Okay, okay, don't get cranky." Time for a change of subject. "Speaking of spies, did you find your problem?"</p><p>"Yes," came the curt reply. "The problem no longer exists."</p><p>"I'll bet." A thought occurred to him. "Do you have a spy with the Alliance?"</p><p>"Seriously?"</p><p>Luke grimaced. "I mean, at the base where I am! Spying on me!"</p><p>"Why?" Vader's head drew back. "Are you worried I might receive negative reports regarding your behavior?"</p><p>"Nooo, not, uh, really. Nuh-uh."</p><p>"Good." Vader resettled. "Because you cannot begin to imagine how furious I would have been should I have learned that you had used spice or made a spectacle of yourself in public."</p><p>"Oh." He peeked from under his lashes and smiled. "I guess not furious enough to make me come home."</p><p>"There is nothing remotely amusing about your behavior." Vader pushed him an arm's length away and Luke thought he could feel actual heat radiating from the glare. "Never again. No spice ever."</p><p>He rolled his eyes. "It's not a big deal. Everybody does it."</p><p>"Would that be the same 'everybody' who directed the course of your life— Ben and Owen and Beru?"</p><p>"Of course not! I mean… <em> everybody… </em> you know, <em> people." </em></p><p>"People like the barkeep who peddles drugs? People like your 'friend' who plied you with drugs and attempted to seduce you?"</p><p>"You <em> are </em> spying on me!" Luke accused.</p><p>"If I could trust that you would behave in your own best interests, I would not have to rely on second-hand information."</p><p>His indignation was replaced by embarrassment. "Anyway… nothing happened, it all worked out."</p><p>"For <em> you. </em>It did not 'work out' so well for the dealer or for your acquaintance who was traveling to Lah'mu."</p><p>"What?" Luke's breath caught. "What are you saying? Did you… did you hurt them?"</p><p>It was like talking to an obsidian statue.</p><p>"What did you do? He sent my message to Jovay! You have no right—"</p><p>Abruptly Vader stood and towered over him. "You still have not learned to respect my powers or my intentions. I do not wish to harm you, but for every transgression you commit, someone will feel my wrath. That is a promise. Do you understand?"</p><p>"What did you do?" Luke got to his feet and glowered up at the unreadable mask.</p><p>"This time I was lenient. This time is your only warning. Next time I will not be so forgiving." Vader shook his finger at Luke's face. "The blood of others will be the consequence for your destructive actions. Remember that."</p><p>He remained silent. This wasn't the father who visited in his head, who sat on the rings of a planet and the grassy fields of Naboo, the one who almost let him see his Anakin face. This was Vader again. What a blind fool he had been to think his old man was softening. Still… the feelings he sensed from his father were less of anger and more of fear and protection… protecting himself, as well as his son.</p><p>Out of nowhere came a great tremor that nearly sent him off balance. In the jungle trees and plants shuddered, and clouds rumbled with waves of thunder that crossed the sky slowly. And there was something else, something deeper that cried out with sadness and joy and pierced his senses.</p><p>He gasped. "Is that—?"</p><p>Vader jerked slightly. "He's gone. Finally."</p><p><em> Yoda. </em>Luke shivered. "Should we leave? Is it safe here?"</p><p>"No, we're fine, child. The Force is neutral. It would acknowledge my loss in much the same way."</p><p>"Would it? But that won't happen for a long time." He tilted his face upward, unable to resist his deep feelings for Vader despite his frightening threats. "Yoda said he was nine hundred years old. Will you…?"</p><p>"Of course not. And I hope you didn't believe everything he told you. Nine hundred!" Vader made a disbelieving snort that made Luke laugh despite his near despair. He pushed his emotions aside— like his father had once said, emotions were inconvenient and unreal.</p><p>Or...wait...<em> had </em> Vader said that? Or was that his interpretation of something else entirely?</p><p>If only he knew how to banish feelings forever, life would be so much easier. Maybe Yoda could have taught him how—</p><p>He sneezed.</p><p>"Are you <em>ill?" </em>his father asked incredulously.</p><p>"Would it be weird if I was? No, I think I'm allergic. Is there a Force way to stop sneezing? Hopefully not the way you cured my hiccups."</p><p>"No, Son, but there is medication that can help you. Did you check the contents of the medical kit? There must be one onboard."</p><p>"Didn't think of that." Unexpectedly he yawned.</p><p>"You need sleep."</p><p>"No! I'm wide awake! I probably won't go to sleep at all tonight! Seriously, after what you <em> said </em> you think I could <em> sleep?" </em></p><p>"I will still be here tomorrow and we will talk more, do not fret."</p><p>"I don't <em> fret! </em> I just don't want you to leave yet!" He assumed his favorite Vader pose, hands on hips and a scowl on his face. "And I'm pissed off! You can't go around threatening people just because— because—"</p><p>"Because they drug you?" Vader nodded toward the sleeping quarters. "Go to bed. This discussion is not over."</p><p>He frowned and stifled another yawn. "You <em> bet </em> it's not! And you'd better not try to sneak away or there'll be hell to pay."</p><p>Darth Vader assumed his own Vader-like pose, pointing his finger and snarling, "Go!"</p><p>"Okay." He smiled just a little, hoping to pacify the angry giant. "G'night… <em> Ipa!" </em></p><p>The deep voice rumbled with an emotion Luke couldn't pinpoint. "Good night, <em> em vikka." </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Bait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Vader dangles the bait. Luke is just a hungry little fish.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Corresponds with FFN 54.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Thanks again to Fialleril for her Amatakka language. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Remember what I said— no spice ever again."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not only will I be aware of your usage, but your consumption of drugs may affect me due to your enhanced skills."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh. Well… but you might enjoy it. Loosen you up a little."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I do not require loosening up."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I guess not. Okay, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>promise</span>
  </em>
  <span> no spice."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Promise accepted. Also, you are not going back to the Alliance in your current state of dishevelment."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's my Jedi-sorta outfit! What's wrong with it?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It is a formal uniform and while I appreciate that you showed me the respect of wearing it, your overall appearance is bedraggled and slovenly. Your skin, your hair— You looked better on Tatooine wearing those ridiculous clothes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> those clothes! I gave them away. To someone who appreciated them."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Indeed. However, while your carriage has improved, your general presentation is lacking. People have expectations of Force users and hold us to higher standards."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't care about anyone's expectations!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"As my son, you are representing </span>
  <em>
    <span>me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Have you ever seen me looking less than meticulously turned out?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah… when I blew my nose on your cloak."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Other than that. Before you return to the enemy, I expect you to go to Coronet City for a…. an overhaul."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No one will believe that Darth Vader is giving me fashion advice."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You will have no occasion to tell anyone."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Anyway, I don't have enough credits for anything fancy—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I transferred a substantial amount of credits to your account. You will need to purchase clothes, long coats that you must wear to disguise your lightsaber when you choose to wear it, and Jedi-style casual wear."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not a Jedi!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Nevertheless, I would prefer you are clothed appropriately while with the Alliance. And please, attend a… health facility for… rejuvenation."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"A </span>
  <em>
    <span>spa? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Are you kidd— wait! </span>
  <em>
    <span>What</span>
  </em>
  <span> account? I have an </span>
  <em>
    <span>account?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Where is it?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"At the IBC. Here is an access datachip. Your identity there is Vekka501dsobednt_atRA."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sure I'll remember that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Create your own password."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Done. MeanDadDV."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I will be monitoring your visit to Coronet City— no diverting elsewhere or lingering. No socializing of any kind. You will be allowed one full day. I will also, of course, be monitoring your expenditures."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course. Which reminds me… why are you paying the Alliance to babysit me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They would not keep the son of Darth Vader otherwise. If you had been more circumspect, it would not have been necessary."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They </span>
  <em>
    <span>guessed!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And you confirmed it. Stop talking and focus on centering the crystal properly."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If it is not aligned, it will shatter."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did you bring another one, just in case?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Focus!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fine! I just need to attach—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good. Now be careful."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Oh... there! Now—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"What?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh... it's… pretty, I guess. But why is it purple? It looks like a giant root vegetable."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The spice is still in your system."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, please… it's been ages. And that wouldn't make my lightsaber… would it? Well. Maybe I can take it apart later and remake it and it will turn out a different color."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We will discuss this absurdity at another time. For now— outside. We will spar."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"We? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hold on. Uh… things didn't go so well for me the last time we dueled. I don't want that to happen again. I only have three other real limbs."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's three more than I have. If you expect a safer outcome, don't whine and make me angry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not whining and </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn't make you angry the last time— you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>were!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Stop baiting me, young one. I must evaluate your abilities or lack thereof."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vader disengaged his red blade. "Your skills are severely lacking. I am most disappointed that Yoda did not at least instruct you in the basic katas."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's a troll for you," Luke quipped, trying to avert further criticisms with humor, while refusing to admit that he had no idea what katas were. He clipped his perfect new lightsaber to his belt and his father followed suit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"When you return to the Alliance, you will begin intensive training in swordsmanship and—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't think they have instruc—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"—hand-to-hand-combat."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't think they have instructors—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They will. You must have the most superior agility, skills and education you can acquire in every area before we confront Palpatine. You must devote all your spare time to those goals."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh. Sounds like fun." Subdued, he walked up the ramp and heard Vader following him. In the galley he prepared instant caf, wishing there was the need to make two cups.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sat at the table. "What troubles you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>em vikka?"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words were gentle and affectionate. Or maybe he was imagining they sounded that way. "I have friends in the Alliance, and I like that. I haven't had a friend since Fixer. But Command… they don't trust me. And not just because I'm your son."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Have you given them reason to trust you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I guess not. I want to, but I don't know how." He considered. "I try, but I don't get it right. What's most important to me is getting my way. When I'm talking to them, that's all I think about— winning, no matter what it takes. You know what I mean?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Indeed I do." Vader sounded amused and possibly… proud?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Encouraged, Luke continued: "And it's always </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal</span>
  </em>
  <span> with us, do you realize that? We do what we want whether it's good for anyone else."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There came a pause that filled him with trepidation. "So… Captain Jovay spoke to you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, no! </span>
  </em>
  <span>"You— He— I—" He snapped his mouth closed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you attempting to ask if I knew his personal feelings? Of course, I sensed them years ago. I did not believe, however, that he would be so indiscreet as to speak to you of his beliefs. I had thought him a better officer than to behave in such a way."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Luke's turn to hesitate, turning words over in his mind, trying to get them right. "He didn't think before he spoke... sound familiar? He was angry about the Death Star. You told him your plans, right? So he was angry on your behalf— angry that I had failed you and that he had failed to stop me. But he couldn't have without hurting me." Krit, did that make sense and was it enough to get Jovay off the hook? "Don't punish him. Don't… waste an asset."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah." The helmet tilted to the side. "You have learned something from me after all."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Despite what you think!" He smiled briefly becoming serious again and twisting the subject in a safer direction. "The Alliance wants to use me to manipulate you, Yoda wanted to use me to… maybe manipulate you too, and Palpatine will want to, of course, for some reason that has to do with you. And you want to manipulate the Alliance and Palpatine. I feel like you're the only one in my life who doesn't use me for your own purposes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What an extraordinarily ridiculous statement. Just when I think you are becoming more insightful, you speak thusly." Vader shook his head. "You believe that I haven't and won't continue to use you? You know I have and of course I will in the future. It is unavoidable. Just as you use me, my son, for your own ends, to extend your influence." Then he added dryly: "Never waste an asset."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luke clasped his hands around the caf mug expecting warmth, but it was already cooling. Wisely for a change, he remained silent. There was too much to contemplate in his father's words to speak rashly now. He nodded, acknowledging that he had much to consider and that he should keep his damn mouth shut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just had to remember to set aside time to think and not be distracted by his actual life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There's another thing," he said after a few minutes. "Something happened in the cave. I don't know if it was real or symbolic."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And that was?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I crushed a rock."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why would that seem unreal to you? The Force is used for strength and destruction."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, I mean…." Luke clenched his fist. "The rock didn't break, it disintegrated. Disappeared. There was nothing left of it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Show me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They headed outside again. At the edge of the clearing, Vader levitated a large stone and crushed it in his fist. "Like so?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No." Luke took another rock. He held it in his open palm, then closed his fingers gently around it. Eyes shut, he focused on it, traveling along the chains that linked the particles together. Then he simply… eradicated their existence.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Turning his hand over, he let his father see… nothing trickled from his palm, not even dust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vader was quiet for several heartbeats. "Interesting," he said finally. "Can you do that with a living creature?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wanted to try with a snake, but Yoda was appalled." He looked around. "Maybe with a dead snake?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His father gestured toward the jungle. "If you wish to search for a dead snake, go ahead. However," he pointed to a nearby tree and a large snake uncoiled, dropping to the ground, "I suggest using this one."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, okay, it was just a snake. "I don't think I have to touch it," he observed. "After the rock, I blew up Yoda by holding out my hand."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His father made an odd noise but said, "Continue."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luke closed his eyes, focusing on the snake's mind. It held only one objective: food. No fear, no worries, no premonition of death. An innocent, vacant mind. The path through its structure was relatively simple, yet more complex than the rock since it was living and its interior kept changing minutely. But it was easy enough to experiment, altering the particles to slow them, then make them race faster and faster, overlapping themselves, splitting them apart until—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Eww!" </span>
  </em>
  <span>That explosion was a lot messier than the rock! There were tiny pieces of skin and barely visible specks of yellow venom and blood in the mud. "That happened sooner than I wanted. I guess… maybe I need to practice more?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes. Interesting," his father repeated. "Practice with small animals before you try it with humans and larger creatures."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Humans?" Luke asked, horrified, before realizing, </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course humans. </span>
  </em>
  <span>What good was a weapon if it wasn't used?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And apparently </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was a weapon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We can overwhelm Sidious with this." It sounded like glee in Vader's voice. Was that possible? "You would have to be close to him, of course. However, after you succeed with humans, begin practicing from varying distances to evaluate the results and adjust your skills accordingly."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What alarmed him more— his father's words or his own lack of dismay at them? "I can't practice on </span>
  <em>
    <span>people!" Can I?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Corpses first," Vader said shortly. "Or body parts. I'm certain the Alliance has some available. If not…."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't threaten," Luke interrupted uneasily. "And what am I supposed to do, ask Command nicely, please may I have a few bodies?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes. In war, there are always bodies to be disposed of, one way or another."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, this was so much more than he'd ever considered. But it was fascinating in a sick way. "What do you do with them aboard ship?" </span>
  <em>
    <span>Since I know you strangle crew members for the slightest infractions.</span>
  </em>
  <span> "Do you space them?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vader silently acknowledged his thought, then: "No, certainly not. They would float forever unless struck by an asteroid, weapons-fire or other event. We incinerate them."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, gods!" Luke laid his forehead on the table. "Why are we talking about this? What's wrong with us?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Melodrama," his father reminded. "It is not wrong, it is practicality. Many things you feel are unpleasant must be faced. Such as… the consequences of your actions."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ouch. Right, no more spice. And at least with the Death Star, the crew had been blown to bits in the explosion before they had time to think… hadn't they? And Force knew, that's what happened to pilots when their ships exploded in space. But what about on the ground? Did anyone go back after the bodies left behind? For that matter, what about the wounded, what happened to them?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Can I keep my friends from dying? They're pilots."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vader made a slight gesture with one hand. "You can extend an area of protection around them if they are close. I suggest you practice that before you need to use it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No kidding." If he flew with them, could he do it? He really wanted Red Squad to be safe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You worry too much about what you cannot control. Focus instead on what you </span>
  <em>
    <span>can,"</span>
  </em>
  <span> the Dark Lord interrupted his musings with a stifled sigh. "I must return to the Devastator tomorrow. I do not wish to give the Emperor too much time to wonder about my absence."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So soon?" His head was full of thoughts, things his father had said, things he had said. He'd need time to consider everything, but he didn't want to waste time with thinking now. Because thinking led to doubts. And doubts led to things like… </span>
  <em>
    <span>willing are you to risk your soul for your father?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why was that a bad thing? He should have controlled his anger and disappointment and asked Yoda more of the really important questions like… </span>
  <em>
    <span>does the moment ever come when you give up on someone you love?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Yoda knew nothing of love, Jedi spurned it, so Yoda couldn't have answered him. His father could… maybe. But what would he say? </span>
  <em>
    <span>When she betrayed me….</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. No more thinking. Keep it light, keep it happy, because it will end too soon.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes. Also, there are preparations underway for Empire Day that I wish to supervise. There will be an impressive show of military force broadcast on the holo."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll be sure to watch." </span>
  <em>
    <span>Empire Day is my birthday, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but he hid the thought because his dad needed no extra reminders about the worst day of his life. "So… lots of military in the sky above the palace? Did you consider…?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Too many civilian casualties."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It disturbed him that he doubted his father was concerned about casualties if it meant taking down Palpatine. He should have more faith in, according to Yoda, his </span>
  <em>
    <span>irredeemable</span>
  </em>
  <span> father. "Since we don't have much more time together, would you tell me more about your life?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Luke." The voice was heavy and weary. "I told you everything."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No. You only told me the terrible things." He said his hand atop his father's glove. "Tell me the good parts. Tell me about when you were happy. I want to know those stories, too."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No," Vader said flatly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was a definite don't-ask-again 'no'. Luke sighed. "There's something wrong with us."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"An opinion shared by many."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, I mean, there's something </span>
  <em>
    <span>not right."</span>
  </em>
  <span> He wasn't sure how to express his misgivings, especially because his father was so touchy. "I feel like… we're missing something. Do you know what I mean? Can you feel it too?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, Luke, my decades of experience using the Force have not enabled me to sense at the superior level you have accomplished with your few weeks of training."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You know," he retorted, "you can be really annoying sometimes! There's no need for sarcasm, I'm being serious."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I know." Vader leaned his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers together. "Your heightened awareness has enabled you to feel the lack of a deep bond between us."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What do you mean? We're… what? How can that be?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"There is a familial bond we can establish. However," Vader said slowly, "it is a Sith practice, as the Jedi disapprove of such attachment."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unconsciously Luke imitated his father's position for a few seconds, then rested his chin on his hands. "So the Sith have families? Children?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If they wish." His father shrugged. "It is not common practice, but it occurs. Sith embrace their passions while Jedi recoil from them."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at the table's surface, his mind racing in multiple directions. "What sort of passions?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Every sort, especially passion for living one's fullest potential." Black gloved fingers folded. "Luke… whatever life you choose to lead will be your decision."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But not until we kill Sidious."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The helmet inclined in an affirmative.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The steel of the table was smooth and unmarred. He pressed his fingers on it, seeing his prints vanish immediately like they had never been there. So impermanent. Did anything last? "So what is a 'familial bond'? What would it mean?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It is a deeper connection than we have now, with the ability to share thoughts and memories as we wish. Communication would be easier, but more importantly it is a permanent connection, an awareness that the other is always present, severed only at death. And even then..." Vader paused. "...it is unclear that the attachment ends or if one death encompasses the other partner."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh," he said in a small voice. "Have you ever… did you ever know anyone who…?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No. There are stories, legends. But I do not know what is true and what is not. There is an old tale told about two siblings who formed such a bond. They perished together, but it was in battle so…."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If they both die, why would anyone want to make a bond?" His pulse was beating too fast; he could feel it thudding against the base of his throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Apparently it is emotionally rewarding and… stabilizing for those who have… difficulties coping with their relationship to the Force." Vader leaned back in the chair. "I have never done such a thing or personally known anyone who has. I do not have answers to these questions."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So… are you… I mean, do you think… should we try it?" He felt unsure and apprehensive and could barely take a breath, but for sure he could use some stabilizing. "I mean… what we do, talking in our heads, is okay, but that only works when I meditate and you're not busy."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His father folded his arms. "I believe such a bond would allow a permanent connection, and our contacts could also be initiated by you, which you currently cannot achieve."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So you want to try it," Luke said flatly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The older man was silent for a full minute and when he spoke there was tiredness in his voice and even a hint of disappointment. "I would not be… averse… if you wish to, but it must be your decision, not mine. I have been aware of this possibility and have had time to contemplate it, but this is new for you. It is a Dark power. You must not make an impulsive decision."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why?" He grinned. "Impulsive decisions have worked out pretty well for me so far." More or less. But he sobered. "What would happen if we… have other people in our lives. Like family… or kids or whatever?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Our bond would not interfere insofar as I understand from the legends. It is a separate thing, in our case a father-son connection that cannot not be shared or replicated with anyone else."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That pushed a fierce sense of possessiveness to the front of his mind. His father, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>his, </span>
  </em>
  <span>no one else could lay claim on him, even if his father had other children. Which he </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't</span>
  </em>
  <span> and </span>
  <em>
    <span>wouldn't. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Vader belonged to Luke as much as Luke belonged to Vader. If they bonded this way, it would be the two of them together always. No one else would ever be needed or wanted or welcomed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Additionally, if the stories are true, such a bond would greatly increase, and possibly double, our Force abilities."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Which would be useful when we confront Sidious." Luke cast a shrewd look at his father, feeling a little queasy. "Is that why you suggested this? Never waste an asset?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The helmet tilted toward him. "I told you I would use you. Now I am offering you the same chance to use me and my powers."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luke sighed, chagrined. "That argument won't seduce me to the Dark Side."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, it will not. I know exactly what will seduce you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>em vikka."</span>
  </em>
  <span> One finger pointed to his chest. "The possibility of forever filling that hollow place in your heart. The place where I should have always been. Now, today, here, we finally have the chance to complete ourselves."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinked a few times, nearly blinded by exploding emotions. "You know me so well." A small laugh was ripped from his throat. "For all the warnings that you would kill me or Turn me, the one thing they didn't warn me about was the thing that happened."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vader's voice was hushed. "They did not anticipate that you might </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He'd never thought he'd hear his father say that word. "Yes. And trust you." Gathering his inner strength, he added, "Let's do it then."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vader studied him a few more moments and Luke held the gaze, staring directly into the black lenses. "I am proud of you, Son. You are courageous." The Dark Lord turned and took both his hands, the black gauntlets swallowing them. "Very well. If it would make you more comfortable, I suggest that you go first. I will lower my shields."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wouldn't know what to do." Luke shook his head. "You… do me. What do I have to do?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Close your eyes, child. Look into your center and relax your shielding. I will not harm you, but you may be startled at first. Do not fight me at any point or it may be painful."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"After weeks of Yoda hitting me with his stick, this should be easy." But he trembled a little as he shut his eyes and bared himself to his father's mind.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Trouble Comes Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alliance, watch out! Luke is back and gorgeous and feeling Sithly.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Corresponds with FFN 55</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He set the course to Corellia and waited stiffly until the hyperdrive kicked in, then sat back and stared at the blurred stars without seeing them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The connection with his father was a filament of iridescence that stretched across the cosmos. His mind was teeming with what had happened since they had initiated the familial bond. Despite the warning, it had been only mildly uncomfortable when Vader entered his mind and began the creation, but that deceptive gentleness hadn't prepared him for the violent impact of his own travel into the Dark Lord's mind. He would have turned and fled if tendrils of Darkness hadn't curled and entwined around his emotions and lured him on, whispering wordless promises, plunging him further into the deepest recesses of the Sith.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The most painful realization had been recognizing himself in that complex Darkness, not just in his father's thoughts but deeper; the roots of his thoughts and beliefs were there as if when his parents created him, his empty shell had been filled with their thoughts and feelings. His father's staggering mental abilities were present now— and far stronger with his desperate grip on anger and love; he could barely sense his mother, just lingering impressions of strength, joy, fear, and sadness. But all those feelings had been in Anakin, too, so he couldn't separate them. Was there nothing solely of Padme Naberrie in him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And the Darkness…. it was not what he'd expected. There was beauty in the depths of a power that stretched far beyond his wildest dreams, an exquisite strength that dimmed the flickering Light inside him. It felt good and pure and right and true and strong. He could do anything— </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything—</span>
  </em>
  <span> and the possibilities thrilled him. How could he go back to the Alliance and pretend? How could he live a small life again when the entire galaxy could be his playground? If this was a sampling of the extent of Palpatine's power—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. This power was his and his father's doubled. How easy it would be to take down the Emperor. But Vader still held him back, ignoring his arguments, telling him to learn and train. That seemed so useless, and he wondered if his Light had contaminated his father when they linked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a jolt in his mind as if someone had tugged a string. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You have more to learn, young one. If it were simple, I would have accomplished it years ago.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If you had been strong enough alone, you mean. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Luke smiled tightly.</span>
  <em>
    <span> I understand. Neither of us can do it without the other. But why do we have to wait? Why do I have to reach all those unnecessary goals first?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish you to be the strongest you can be before we rule. There will be many temptations you will face, and I do not want you to fail. Stop dreaming of power and attend to the practicalities. We will have many opportunities to discuss our strategies. For now—</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Appearances matter. Yes, Father, I'm on my way to Corellia.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Fail? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He would never fail again. Losing was impossible now. He could only win.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But that was how his father talked, altering and slanting the truth just enough to woo him over or, in this case, placate him. Truth be told, he really didn't mind; it was a good learning experience. But eventually would come his father's 'just one more thing'… and he was curious what it might be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A wisp of a thought invaded: what if the one more thing was </span>
  <em>
    <span>love?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He wondered if he was still capable of it in the Darkness. And if his father was. And if not… against his wishes, something buried inside him mourned for its loss.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Coronet City reminded him of an upscale Mos Eisley. An elegant, affluent Eisley. And he was part of the affluence. It was a gratifying knowledge that he could buy anything he wanted… although with Vader supervising, the credits might come to an end if he got carried away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which presented him with a challenge. Exactly how much could he get away with while still being the obedient son?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So he left after his single alloted day, after doing as much damage as possible to his new account. He was beautified to the point of youthful perfection with a permanent tan— even his prosthetic hand had been dyed to match— and styled, tousled hair, blonde by injection, which the attendant had assured him only had to be reinjected once per standard year. Oh, he supposed his father would say it was petty and meaningless— but Sith-hell he looked good and had basked in the glances of admiration. He would likely get the same reception at the Alliance base. He was no longer the skinny, homeless drunk from Tatooine. He wasn't even the poor Rebel mechanic— he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Someone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Someone important, someone cared for… someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And, okay, evidently someone easily manipulated, but he could accept that if it was the price of these rewards… couldn't he?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why couldn't questions just go away? It was so much easier to have no doubts about anything, especially about his father. Everyone's life was complicated, right? Maybe not to the level of Sith-complicated, but everyone had problems no matter how well they hid them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With long hours of hyper looming ahead, he decided to pack. The set of two nerf-hide bags would hold all his clothes, and out of sentimentality he stuffed in his ragged Tatooine pack, too. He debated about wearing the cloak and swirled it around his shoulders. Standing in front of the reflector, he pulled up the hood, then tugged it lower over his face. He looked like—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Dark Lord.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He folded his arms inside the fabric so nothing of Luke Skywalker remained. He was a shadow, a shape that came out of the night… out of the most fearsome of nightmares. Reaching out one hand, he touched the reflection and felt….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sad. Ancient. A memory he couldn't remember. Impossible past, impossible future. A life forgotten and never lived. A life lived and never forgotten. He was no one, everyone. But his image existed so he must be someone. He was full of… emptiness. Power. He was God. He was Skywalker. He was...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Elemental.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both fists pounded against the image, slamming it over and over, but it didn't shatter. Of course not. There was no glass, just steel, dented now, ruining another part of the Princess's damn ship.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Trembling with fear and rage, he yanked off the cloak—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No thinking.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>—and wrapped his lightsaber in it, remembering his father's warning about Palpatine's spies. If he needed the saber, he'd have to wear one of the new coats, but Yavin was too hot to pull off that look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No thoughts. No regrets. No doubts.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The black formal suit screamed 'Sith', too intimidating for the Alliance, so he changed into what his father had called 'Jedi daywear', lightweight black and brown and a new pair of dark chestnut boots with hand-tooled designs climbing up the shafts. He had managed to buy, still with his dad's evident permission, two dozen silk t-shirts that had FLYING REBEL printed on the front and a dozen of the latest model blasters for his crew, and those took up all the space in the second bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once packed, he decided to clean the ship's interior. If it really belonged to the princess, he didn't want her thinking he was a slob despite his stunning appearance. Although there was the little matter of the chair arm they had sliced into pieces to build his lightsaber. And parts from the sonic shower head. And the reflector. Well, he couldn't fix everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No regrets.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wished he'd brought a few educational tapes along to pass the time. His father had dismissed his idea of being a Shadow Jedi and suggested he study the Grey Jedi or Grey Sith, both of whom used Dark and Light talents. But why should he be constrained by a title? When Palpatine was gone, the galaxy would know 'Skywalker' and that would be title enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No doubts.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sank back into the pilot's seat. Fantasizing was a great morale booster, but he had to face the fact that—- for now— he was going back to a Rebel base as a mechanic/pilot who lived in a tiny room in a large barracks with six pilots who were his friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Were any of them Imperial spies? The question made him uncomfortable. Would he be able to sense spies as his father said? And what would happen when he reported them to Vader? His father would expect him to take some action, even against a friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And the body parts, the corpses. Luke groaned aloud. How would he even begin to ask that question tactfully? Still, he had to remember his ultimate purpose made everything appropriate— the downfall of Sidious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The confrontation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No doubts no doubts no doubts.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his satisfaction with himself and his new knowledge, he was afraid. He could ask his father for reassurance, but he wasn't a child any longer and he couldn't reveal weakness. That was one thing he'd felt from his father— disappointment in any weakness or reluctance that Luke had shown. So… no more. He was strong on his own, stronger than he'd ever been. They were stronger together, they would succeed in the end. In the meanwhile, Luke would make himself into the superior being his father wanted him to be... correction, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No regrets.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Exiting hyperspace, he checked the chron to time his arrival with 'his' Red Squad's off-duty shift. Not that he didn't like the night shift guys, but he barely knew them because they were either sleeping or on duty when he was awake. Still, he'd brought enough shirts for all of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Punching in his ship's security clearance, he cruised into the hangar and parked to one side, gratified to see all the Reds in their places. Gently he reached out to confirm that his friends were unharmed and sighed with relief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Standing on the ramp, unpleasantly slapped in the face with humidity and heat, he spied a young uniformed man nearby. "Ensign!" he called and tossed his bags toward him. Impressively the kid caught the bigger one but the other landed at his feet. "Take these to Red barracks and tell them Oz is back. I'll be there shortly."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walked a few meters and didn't bother to glance over his shoulder to know the man hadn't moved. "Now, Ensign!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yessir!" came the obedient response, and Luke didn't care whether it was caused by the Force, his new confidence, or his obvious affluence. Whatever, it worked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He strode toward the CC, nodding to a couple people he vaguely remembered. As a courtesy he tapped once on the door before opening it and entering. His entry would have been more impressive if he'd been able to wear his lightsaber, but his new aura should be more than enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hi, I'm home!" he blurted, which was not the quiet, dignified, gracious announcement he'd practiced. Oh, well, Oz was still Oz… He smiled, managing not to burst into a silly grin at Commander Narra, whose mouth dropped open, and General Willard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a gratifying silence as they reacted to his appearance. "Oz…." Narra said weakly, undoubtedly astonished by his fabulosity. "Welcome back. Did you return the ship?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Nice to see you too. </span>
  </em>
  <span>"Of course I did. I promised I would." He cleared his throat. "It needs a bit of repair inside."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Willard put down his stylus and stood. "You look… very well. How was your… experience?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Did they not believe that he'd been training in the Force? He straightened. "It was enlightening. I learned many new skills and knowledge of the Force that I can bring to the Alliance." And there was the matter of his familial bond with a certain Dark Lord of the Sith but perhaps he wouldn't mention it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Narra was openly staring. "Commander," Luke asked gently, "why are you still flying a desk?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I… someone has to do it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Better someone who knows pilots and tactics," Willard stated. "Who was the Jedi Master you saw?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Trained with," he corrected. "So you remember all the Jedi Masters? It was Yoda."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yoda? He's alive?" Apparently they both remembered the colorful head of the Jedi Council. "How is…. I mean, will you train more with him?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Can't," Luke said cheerfully. "He's dead. Well, what can you expect, he was nine hundred years old, after all. Every Jedi Master is gone now. Doesn't matter, I'm not a Jedi, never will be, don't like them much."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That silenced them and he decided attempting any more conversation would be a waste of his time. "I'm going to Red barracks. Catch you later."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oz!" Narra stood as he opened the door. "Uh… Red has a new mechanic."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Krit! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Affecting nonchalance, he shrugged. "I'm not planning on being a mechanic again. I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>fly, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you know. And I have more Force training that will keep me busy." He gave them an informal salute and left, closing the door quietly behind him without even bothering to ask for his allowance because now he had an account. Unless his dad cut it off. Like his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hmm. Obviously he should project a different attitude when reuniting with his friends. In the distance, he saw the young ensign returning to the hangar, so at least they were forewarned that he was back. He hesitated at the door, inexplicably nervous. It was ridiculous to wonder if they would still like him. Why wouldn't they?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wiped his sweaty hands on his pants,entered, and came to an immediate stop. "Holy krit, you've got air conditioning!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a burst of laughter. "I </span>
  <em>
    <span>told</span>
  </em>
  <span> them that was the first thing you'd say!" Porkins exclaimed. "Welcome home, brother!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, no! Don't get teary, Skywalker— remember your image!</span>
  </em>
  <span> "Group hug!" So much for an image. He held open his arms and waited until they crowded around, awkwardly patting backs— except for Janson, who tried to kiss his cheek. "Oh, stop! I see nothing's changed!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even Boss smiled at him. "A few adventures, but no casualties."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hobbie waved Boss away. "But get to the important stuff— what did you do to yourself? Sith, you look amazing! Were you in a desert? You look tan and… blonde."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm just back to my old Tatooine looks— two suns, you know." He preened a little. "No, it was Dagobah and it was filthy. Muddy, wet, bugs and snakes— disgusting!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not the place for our clean young prince," Zev said with a wink.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eww, I've read about Dagobah," Janson said. "But then… why do you look so… fabulous? Is it a Force thing?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grinned. "I stopped at a spa," he said loftily. "I had to, I was grossly scruffy and slovenly. Hey, where're my bags? I brought stuff back for you guys."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not snakes, I hope."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, good stuff from Corellia." He headed to his old bunk.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sorry," Boss said, "that's the new kid's. I put you Five's room. It's bigger… if you want it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked over his shoulder, distracted by… something. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll fly when I can, but I have other things to do... Who's the 'new kid'?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Name's Tadeo, been here for a few weeks. Came in on a…. What are you doing?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His hand touched the pillow and blankets, feather-light. Impressions— a ship, a freighter, flying under neutral signals, but...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tugged the filament in his mind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Father… Imperial?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His father traveled the same path he had and a moment later: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Possibly. Not one of mine. If he proves to be a spy, eliminate him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed. "A few weeks? Did you talk about anything important when he was around?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pilots looked at each other. "I don't know," Wedge said slowly. "What would be important? He's almost off-shift now. Should be back any time."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Damn, why didn't I sense him in the hangar? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Maybe he couldn't pick Imperials out of a crowd. Or maybe the kid wasn't an Imperial. "I don't want him here."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ooh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>jealous!"</span>
  </em>
  <span> Janson snickered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'd rather you pilot," Boss said. "You don't need to be a mech again. We need a Five."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'd like to, but my schedule is going to be rather full."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zev rolled his eyes. "Prince Oz."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I didn't mean it that way," Luke defended hotly. "I just… I'm supposed to study and take classes—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"This isn't university."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed. "I mean, I'd have to practice flying a lot. I don't know anything about combat—"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Can someone say 'Death Star'?" Porkins interjected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That was… that was… a fluke. I'd never flown in space before." Well, except for a few TIE flights. And the Falleen cruiser. "Fine! As long as I can get in some practice runs." He hesitated. "So who's the new Three?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I am," Boss said quietly, and Luke suppressed a shiver of superstition. He hoped Boss would have better luck with Three than Biggs had. "Just the position. You'll still call me 'Leader'. And if you're flying, you have to enlist."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luke grinned back at him, relieved that apparently he'd been forgiven for his past actions, and decided to ignore the last reminder. Enlist?— never! "Uh-huh." He found his bags in the slightly bigger room. This one actually had a pole to hang clothes. "Anybody have extra hangers? I have more clothes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course you do!" Hobbie caught a few of the t-shirts Luke threw at him, while some tumbled to the floor and the others scrabbled for them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey, I like!" Porkins exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I want a blue one!" Janson insisted. "Find me a— </span>
  <em>
    <span>No, are they all red?!"</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Luke pulled out the shirt he'd tucked aside. "I knew you'd want a blue one."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Awesome, thanks!" Janson pulled it over his uniform. "Stunning. Seriously stunning."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door opened. A man entered— so young, not more than twenty, with dark skin and liquid brown eyes. "Hi," he said, then stopped, immediately aware of the stranger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hi, I'm Oz." Luke held out his hand and the other grasped it awkwardly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Father… he's just a kid. I can't…. </span>
  </em>
  <span>But he could feel a presence in the other's thoughts that beckoned to his own Darkness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A 'kid' who may report to Sidious. Eliminate him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't have the heart for this, despite his new affiliation for the Dark Side. The young one looked at him. "I’m Tadeo. Um… are you taking your job back?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, it's all yours."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh." Tadeo looked dejected.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Boss put his fists on his hips. Dad Vader. "What's going on? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> this job— you volunteered."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I still want it! I just… I was hoping I could go back and stay with my brother. We were working on transports," he explained to Luke, "so we were bunking together in Green. Can I keep the job and not have to live here?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ugh. He wondered if Green was as disgusting and smelly as it had been at the other base. And he had certainly never sounded as childish and naive as this one— who was actually older than Luke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You would have to report to me every morning at 0600– that's </span>
  <em>
    <span>before</span>
  </em>
  <span> breakfast— for your assignments." Boss had a soft spot for youngsters, Luke decided.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yessir, I can do that! Thank you! I'll just get my stuff out of here !" he added to Luke.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A little too eager to get away from me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one or meaningless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'll leave the decision of his fate to you, Son.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Great. Well, it wasn't a decision he was going to make in haste. "Thanks, kid."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I want to see your clothes," Hobbie said. "Maybe I can borrow something."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Turnaround</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Luke tells the truth, but no one believes him. And father and son have a talk.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Corresponds with FFN 56</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"And new blasters too? Where did you get all this stuff?" Porkins asked.</p><p>"More importantly, how did you <em> pay </em> for it?" Zev asked under his breath.</p><p>Luke glared at him. "I said Corellia, and I just <em> did, </em> okay?"</p><p>"Maybe he has a <em> patron," </em> Hobbie sniped.</p><p>"Oh, c'mon! Just a…." Words failed him.</p><p>"Someone… a relative or a friend or… what was the other thing?" Zev asked rhetorically. "Oh, yeah… you did a <em> favor </em> for someone."</p><p>"Maybe a Falleen," Wedge murmured. Luke didn't respond.</p><p>"Well, I don't care where he got the stuff," Janson said defensively. "I'm just enjoying touching it. Seriously, feel this fabric!" He shoved a shirt at Zev then reached into the bag to snatch the cloak.</p><p>"Careful!" Luke snapped. "My lightsaber is in there!"</p><p>"Lightsaber?!" came a chorus. "Does it work now?" Boss asked curiously.</p><p>Luke unrolled it from the cloak. "Not the old one. I built a new one." He held it out with pride, but pulled back when Boss tried to touch it. "Yes, it works— be careful!" He stood and went back into the central room, then hesitated.</p><p>"Well… there is one thing…." He cleared his throat. "Apparently, the… um… the spice I took was purple and I guess it was… still in my bloodstream… which sorta had something to do with the laser color… I think."</p><p>They all stared wordlessly so he sighed and ignited it. Its glare illuminated even the corners of the big room with a brilliant purple. He swung it a few times to show off the hum and the sweep of light.</p><p>"Wow," Wedge said quietly and that was echoed by the others. "I didn't know they came in purple. The old pictures I saw were white or blue or… except for Vader's red one."</p><p>"I don't know what the colors mean," Luke said uncertainly, snapping off the blade.</p><p>"Then why do you think the glitt made yours purple?" Boss asked, his eyes locked on the hilt.</p><p>"Uh… just a guess." <em> Darth Vader told me so. </em>Stars, covering up lies was confusing and annoying.</p><p>"When I was a kid, I had an old holocard that had a battle scene showing a Jedi with a purple one." Boss folded his arms as though holding back from grabbing the saber.</p><p>"Really? Do you still have it?" he asked eagerly.</p><p>"Of course not. They're un-Imperial," he replied dryly.</p><p>"Isn't everything?" Zev muttered.</p><p>"Can I hold it?" Janson asked eagerly.</p><p>"No, it's not a toy!" <em> Great, I sound like my father. </em> "Sorry."</p><p>Zev chuckled. "Our Baby Jedi has grown up a little more."</p><p>"I'm <em> not </em> a Jedi!" Luke snapped. "They're horrible— No offense, Boss."</p><p>Garven shrugged. "So… does that mean you're a Baby Sith?"</p><p>"I'm not anything," he replied crossly. "I don't have to have a label."</p><p>"That's right," Hobbie cooed. "If anything, we can call you a Style Lord."</p><p>"Look at these coats." Janson sighed enviously. "I mean, this one is very practical, but look at this one. Krit, it's hand-embroidered! Are you <em> kidding </em> me? Really, where did you get the money?"</p><p>"I'd be interested to know that too," Zev said with a barely audible hint of suspicion.</p><p>Hmm, clearly he hadn't thought this part all the way through. Luke crossed to slouch on the sofa, stalling for time. Then he got up to pour himself a caf, which turned out to be old and too strong so he dumped it. Then he sat again, waiting for the others to give up pawing the clothes and join him. "Well…."</p><p>"We figured it out already," Porkins answered. "You have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend."</p><p>"Or an Imperial parent," Hobbie said.</p><p>"I'm going with Admiral Ozzel," Janson added. "Get it? Oz… Ozzel." Luke simply stared at him.</p><p>"Nah, I think it's a Moff." Hobbie grinned. "Or you're Mon Mothma's lovechild."</p><p>"Or her boy toy."</p><p>"We had fun talking about you while you were gone," Janson offered brightly. "It livened up those boring evenings. We missed you sitting there silently listening to tapes for hours and hours."</p><p>They were all waiting expectantly, and he just knew they weren't going to let this go. He leaned forward. "Well… if you promise not to tell anyone else…"</p><p>
  <em> Nothing but the truth, Dad. </em>
</p><p>"Go ahead," Boss said, sitting back at the table, daring him with a smile.</p><p>"After I was done with the Force training— That was with Yoda, Boss, he's dead now, don't ask— Darth Vader dropped by and we spent a few days together."</p><p>Whoops of laughter were followed by Janson chastising, "Shut up, I want to hear this!"</p><p>Encouraged, but not daring to look at Boss, Luke continued. "He gave me fashion advice. In fact, he said I was disheveled, which was pretty embarrassing."</p><p>"I know I'd be embarrassed," Hobbie agreed.</p><p>"But his wardrobe is so simple," Janson said with disappointment. "It's just all black. What does he know about fashion?"</p><p>"Well, yeah," Luke defended, "but have you ever seen him looking less than meticulously turned out?"</p><p>"No." Boss pressed his fingers against his forehead. "Covered with the blood of innocent beings, maybe, but still meticulously turned out."</p><p>Luke ignored him.</p><p>Janson sighed with delight. "So did he sweep you away to Corellia and buy you all those clothes? Did you model them for him? Did he have to approve? Did he—"</p><p>"Ugh. No. Stop!" Luke pretended to shudder while silently acknowledging that would have been fun. "He just set up an account and told me to buy whatever I wanted."</p><p>"Stars above, this is my new fantasy," Janson murmured. "Darth Vader taking me shopping… all the finest salons and— Hey! Did he pay for your makeover too?"</p><p>"It wasn't a— Well, yeah, he said I needed an overhaul."</p><p>Zev laughed so much that he had tears in his eyes. "We missed this, Oz! Although…" He sobered only slightly. "You still haven't told us how you paid for everything."</p><p>"I just did!"</p><p>"There's an old Corellian story," Wedge began, eliciting groans from the others, "about a boy who told so many lies that when he told the truth, no one believed him."</p><p>"Every planet has that story," Porkins commented. "My mom told me that one. So what's the truth, Oz?"</p><p>He considered and finally said, "If no one can tell the difference between my lies and my truths, what does it matter whether I lie or tell the truth?"</p><p>Boss folded his arms. Hobbie and Janson exchanged a look. Porkins grimaced. Zev said: "That's some weird logic there. I know there's something wrong with it, but I can't figure it out yet. I propose a toast to Oz's unreality."</p><p>"No liquor for me," Luke said quickly, winking at Boss. "I've reformed."</p><p>Hobbie laughed. "In what way? You just lied your little heart out."</p><p>"I don't drink or use drugs," Luke said primly. "Not now that I have a lightsaber and… who knows what might happen if I lost control."</p><p>That sobered all of them. "Ooookay," Hobbie said. "Wedge, crack open your milk and share it with our other baby. Ale for the rest of us."</p><p>"Only one each," Garven said sternly and Janson rolled his eyes. "And first thing in the morning, Oz, you're completing the enlistment documents."</p><p>"No I'm not." He smiled at Wedge. They all stood and clinked their glasses in a toast. He and Wedge were the lone milk drinkers, but he didn't mind. It made him feel righteous and pure.</p><p>"Yes. If you want to fly, you're enlisting."</p><p>"No," Luke repeated, reminding: "You had no problem with me flying against the Death Star."</p><p>"Here we go," Hobbie mumbled and downed the remainder of his drink.</p><p>"Well, I have a problem now. Sign up or be a mechanic again."</p><p>This was a battle he was determined to win. "I'm not eighteen. I need approval from a parent or guardian to enlist."</p><p>Boss hesitated, but Zev said, not helpful at all, "I think there's a special provision for orphans."</p><p>Luke whirled on him. "I am <em> not </em> an <em> orphan!" </em></p><p>Zev held up his hands. "Hey, you said your guardians were dead, so I assumed…."</p><p>He refused to be mollified. "Yeah, well…. My mother died when I was born, but I have a father, he's just… just… not around. Much," he added.</p><p>"I had a father like that," Porkins said softly. "He didn't care."</p><p>"My dad <em> cares! </em> He's just busy." Luke grimaced. "I'm sorry about your dad, Pork. That's not right."</p><p>"Thanks. So maybe your father can spare ten seconds to sign permission for you?"</p><p>"Good luck with that." He glanced sideways at Boss, whose expression had hardened. Luke sighed. "Look, I can do Force stuff now. I'll be useful in a fight. And if I can figure out how to do it, I can extend a… I guess a Force field to protect other fighters who are near me. Please let me fly. I can't… I don't want any of you to get hurt if I can do something to prevent it."</p><p>"Sounds good to me," Wedge said loudly. "Since when would we turn down help from a… not-Jedi-Sith Force user?"</p><p>"We haven't seen if he can do anything yet," Zev said practically.</p><p>"We will!" Janson defended. "C'mon, Boss!"</p><p>Garven threw his hands in the air. "I'll talk to Command tomorrow. No promises."</p><p>"You're in," Hobbie declared. "Let's drink to that."</p><p>"No refills," Boss stated. He clapped Luke's shoulder, startling him. "I'll try."</p><p>Whatever turned Boss around, he didn't know, but he wasn't about to argue further. Asking for corpses could wait for another day. "Great." He smiled sunnily at his brothers.</p><p>
  <b>OooOoo</b>
</p><p>"Thanks for meeting me here. I like this better than just talking in our heads. Not that there's anything wrong with our heads," he added quickly.</p><p>They were sitting on top of an abnormally comfortable asteroid that hovered motionless in the middle of a small spinning galaxy.</p><p>"I don't know where we are, though. Do you?"</p><p>"No," Darth Vader said shortly. "What do you want now?"</p><p>"Hey!" Luke protested. "Talk nice to your favorite asset."</p><p>Vader was silent.</p><p>"How do I look? Great, huh?"</p><p>"Acceptable."</p><p>He was outraged until Vader chuckled, then he sighed in resignation. "Okay. Anyway, they want me to enlist before I can pilot and—"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"I <em> know </em> that!" He scowled. "I already said no and Boss will talk to Command tomorrow. But the guys thought the rule wouldn't apply to me because I was an orphan."</p><p>Vader said nothing and didn't even appear to feel guilty at the idea that he was a neglectful parent.</p><p>"I told them you were busy."</p><p>"Indeed I am. Get to the point. What do you want?"</p><p>"Stars!" He was tempted to wake up and leave. But…. "After we did the bonding thing, you know…?"</p><p>"I know. I was there." The bug-eyed helmet looked at him.</p><p>Luke closed his own eyes for a moment and gathered his patience. "I'm fine now that I'm back with the guys… well, sort of fine. But sometimes I have thoughts that are kind of… Sithly."</p><p>"Sithly," his father repeated.</p><p>"Yeah." He was tempted to ask,<em> do you know what I mean, </em> but didn't want to hear another snappy comeback from his dad.</p><p>"Yes, I know what you mean."</p><p>Oh, fine. No private thoughts!</p><p>"Sithly how?"</p><p>He flopped back and watched a distant star explode overhead. "Cool. ...Well, I thought about how you were holding me back and that I wanted to take down Sidious right now and things like that. And killing people that I know."</p><p>"I am familiar with those thoughts," his father stated with what sounded like mock solemnity. "And I repeat: <em> what do you want?" </em></p><p>"I want to know if I'm always going to be so kriffed up! If I'm ever going to feel one way or the other! If I'm going to be a Sith! I want to know what's going to happen!"</p><p>They remained in silence for what seemed like forever. "If I knew what was going to happen," his father said finally, "we wouldn't be in this predicament. I believe you are thinking some of my thoughts—"</p><p>"You mean when we bonded, I got some of—"</p><p>"Yes, and I got some of yours," Vader said heavily.</p><p>"You mean you're…." He didn't know how to ask. "You mean you got some Luke thoughts?"</p><p>"Force help me," Vader muttered, and his helmet disappeared. There was his father, his real father, or at least the father that Darth Vader wanted him to see. The one who was barely older than him, which was awesomely weird, and had curly hair snipped shorter than his own. "Your hair is too long."</p><p>"Is not," was the only comment Luke could think of. Then a question popped into his head like it had been waiting for the opportunity to unveil itself. "So, Dad… do you ever think about defecting?" he wondered daringly. "Asking for a few billion friends."</p><p>Dad-Anakin-Vader reclined to lie alongside him. "No. Yes. Sometimes. Maybe."</p><p>"Ooooh, you <em> do </em> sound like me. I'm sorry." He pretended to be sympathetic. "Do you <em> think </em> like me too?"</p><p>"Gods, I hope not. Although that would explain a few things."</p><p>"Like what?"</p><p>"Piett said 'good morning' to me today. He never says that. He always says 'my lord' and nods. I don't know why he said good morning."</p><p>Luke giggled and turned his head to look at the man beside him. "That doesn't sound so bad. I'm thinking of killing people and you're worried because your exec said good morning."</p><p>"I know, that's what worries me… that I'm so worried about it."</p><p>"Mm." His father should stop talking altogether on the Devastator if he was going to continue Luke-Speak. He studied the youthful profile. "Is this what you really look like?"</p><p>"It's how I remember I looked. Before my injuries."</p><p>"Oh." He stared upward again. "I told the guys that you bought me the clothes. They were asking a lot of questions about how I got everything. They didn't believe what I said about you, of course. The truth stuff is still working out."</p><p>"Please be cautious."</p><p>Luke rolled onto his side and propped his head up with his hand. "Does Palpatine really have spies at my base?"</p><p>"I don't know. Shall I ask him?"</p><p>He sighed and vowed to never become a parent. "If he does, he knows where we are."</p><p>"Only if the spy is able to report back to a handler. It's not an easy task. And it may be a saboteur rather than a spy."</p><p>"Oh. So… Do you really think about defecting?"</p><p>Vader tilted his head to look at him. His eyes were very blue. "Not exactly. More like… allying."</p><p>"Oh." He could look into those eyes forever. They were so familiar, like a mirror. "But then we couldn't confront Palpatine personally."</p><p>"Probably not." His dad looked upward again and the blue gaze was lost to him. "It would require a new plan."</p><p>"Yeah. We could be captured," he said idly.</p><p>"By whom?"</p><p>"By Palpatine."</p><p>"Huh," his father said.</p><p>Luke rolled onto his back. "This is awkward. I liked it better when you were you and I was me."</p><p>"Yes." Darth Vader was back, helmet and all. "You must leave. One of your friends wants to try on your jacket."</p><p>He sighed. "Probably Janson—"</p><p>"I <em> knew </em> you knew I was here! You're just pretending to sleep," Janson accused.</p><p>"Yeah. Go ahead, try the jacket."</p><p>"Thanks! I— wait, did you read my mind? Can you read <em> everybody's </em> minds?"</p><p>"Yes," Luke said with a yawn. "And Wedge should be ashamed."</p><p>"What? WEDGE! What're you thinking?"</p><p>Janson successfully deflected, Luke returned his thoughts inward, but his father was gone.</p><p>And had left him a few things to think about.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Honestly, He Tries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Making mischief.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Corresponds with FFN 57</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The swordmaster arrived a few days later. He was a Zabrak, and his demeanor was proud, his height tall, his appearance imposing. He had a lot of horns around his head and the hair that cascaded down his back was long and purple, which gave him extra points in Luke’s estimation. Five others signed up to take his class, all of them from night shift. No one else from day squads because, as Janson pointed out, 0545 was far too early to be so active, and Luke would have agreed if he’d had a choice. But with no other dad-approved option, here he was in a windowless room that had been closed up all night, with a single fan that did nothing but blow hot air around.</p><p>There were only sticks on the rack, not swords. Luke picked one that was as tall as he was. Wordlessly, Kodra took it from him and handed him one that was half the length. Luke looked sideways at him but kept his mouth shut.</p><p>“First form. Blocking.”</p><p>Evidently there would be no introductions or explanations. The six of them followed along, some a little awkwardly. One young man laughed at his own ineptness and the Zabrak said:</p><p>“Out.”</p><p>“What?” the youth, whom Luke recognized as a Green pilot, stopped.</p><p>“I will not waste my time. You must be the most serious for me to teach.”</p><p>“But…” The pilot was prepared to argue, but Kodra quelled his words with a single stare and pointed his staff at the door. The pilot threw down his stick and stormed out.</p><p>Kodra looked at the remaining five. “Beginning tomorrow class is 0500. Hand-to-hand combat is 0600. Be here early if you intend to participate. Barefoot.”</p><p>Oh great. A few people looked dismayed but Luke nodded once and Kodra glanced at him. Did the instructor know that <em> he </em> was the reason for the classes? At least… Luke <em> assumed </em> he was the reason.</p><p>“First form, begin again. No.” Kodra scowled at them. “Your sword is your life. Keep it at your attention.”</p><p><em> Your lightsaber is your life. </em> Luke would have smiled, but decided he didn’t dare. He wiped the sweat from his face and honed his focus to a knife-like vision of his staff and the position of his feet, allowing the Force to guide him as they went through the movements.</p><p>Kodra stalked behind them, around them, correcting the smallest of motions. When he reached Luke, he said under his breath, “No Force. Just you.”</p><p>Surprised, he inhaled and swallowed a protest. He struggled to separate himself from the Force and immediately felt incredibly clumsy.</p><p>This was not going to be as easy as he’d expected.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>He ran to grab something for breakfast before his shift began. “What <em> is </em> this?” he asked the canteen worker.</p><p>“Woolamander. One of the guards got a whole family of them last night. Pretty tasty. Hard to skin them though.”</p><p>Briefly he considered becoming a vegetarian. He remembered a description of the small creatures from his tape as being cute in an ugly way. Oh, well, it was filling. Maybe woolamanders would be good to practice on before he asked for human body parts.</p><p>“You’re late,” Boss said at the hangar entry.</p><p>“I had to eat <em> something! </em> I’ve been at fencing class. And starting tomorrow the classes are 0500 to 0700. I have to <em> eat!” </em> He wiped the grease from his fingers onto his shirt. “Can I push back my shift by thirty minutes?”</p><p>The commander studied him. Luke thought his hair was grayer than it had been when he’d arrived. “All right,” he allowed, “as long as you don’t neglect your duties.”</p><p>“I won’t!” Luke hesitated. “Did you get a chance to—“</p><p>“Not yet. Get to work.”</p><p>“I’m getting, I’m getting!” He checked the list and headed for… oh, krit, a snub. He hated working on those, they were so awkward. He passed a transport and saw Tadeo.</p><p>“Hey, kid,” he called. “I thought you’re supposed to be working on Reds.”</p><p>“Um… they’re sharing me. So I’m helping my brother.”</p><p>“Yeah? Where is he?”</p><p>Tadeo gestured vaguely. “Over there somewhere.”</p><p>“OZ!” Boss shouted.</p><p>“All right! Sith!” He gave Tadeo a conspiratorial smile and continued to the snub. He could sense nothing dangerous from the other, but he’d keep an eye on him.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>The woolamanders looked too intelligent. Plus, they seemed to be in a family unit. Luke wandered deeper into the jungle looking for a lone animal. He saw a few birds in the tree canopy, but they were too pretty to blow up.</p><p>Then he nearly stumbled over a huge, hideous blob draped across a rock at the edge of a pool of muddy water. It had tentacles that extended into the water.</p><p>“Ugh.” It paid no attention to him so he focused inside it, which turned out to be a repulsive task. Okay, it was more than a single organism but it still wasn’t much of a challenge. But he could <em> make </em> it a challenge by taking his time and exploring its neural network and finding multiple ways to blow it apart— oh, no, please, <em> dissolve </em> it. He wanted no repetition of the snake on Dagobah. He probed carefully, found the right point and pushed.</p><p>It exploded and splattered across his jumpsuit.</p><p>“Aaagh! Did you see that?”</p><p>Luke turned to Janson. “Are you following me?”</p><p>“Yes.” The other looked at his clothes. “It’s all over you. That’s so disgusting. Yuck. Let’s go back.”</p><p>“Okay.” He rather stay and try again with something else. Maybe the problem was that he’d only tried with slimy creatures. He’d have to do a woolamander. At least they were furry. “Why were you following me?”</p><p>“I saw you wander off and figured you might get into trouble, because trouble seems to follow you.”</p><p>“Truer than you know.” Luke nodded. “Well, good thing you didn’t get too close or you’d have this all over you too.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Janson ducked under a branch and glanced at him as they made their way back toward the base. “I don’t know why you do the things you do. We have a perfectly fine barracks. You should stay in it and not go exploring.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he admitted ruefully. “That might be better.”</p><p>“Heard anything about the whole pilot-enlisting thing?”</p><p>“No. Guess they haven’t decided.”</p><p>“Yeah. Well, don’t be in a rush.” Janson grinned. “I feel safer knowing you’re the one working on my X. Which reminds me, if you become a pilot and die, can I have your clothes?”</p><p>“Yes,” Luke said wearily. “If I die under any circumstances, you may have them.”</p><p>“Great!” Janson said happily, then caught himself. “I mean… maybe I can borrow some while you’re still alive?”</p><p>Luke sighed.</p><p>Janson stopped outside Red barracks. “You know… that smells really bad.”</p><p>“Trust me, I know.”</p><p>“Well… maybe you shouldn’t go inside. I’ll get you a jumpsuit and we can go to Laundry. They have a shower there too.”</p><p>Luke sent him a questioning look. “Why would I—“</p><p>“It’s in your hair.”</p><p>
  <em> “Noooo—“ </em>
</p><p>“And I think there’s some on your face.”</p><p>“Krit! <em> Get it off me!” </em></p><p>“Don’t touch it.” Janson swatted his hands away. “You’ll smear it. Wait here while I get clothes for you.”</p><p>“Fine!” This was so disgusting. Why why why did gross things have to happen to him? He began to fold his arms, then thought better of it and held them away from his body. The goop was probably all over him, and he was thankful it was dark so no one would—</p><p>“Hey, come and see what happened to Oz!” Janson called as he flung open the barracks door.</p><p>Well, great, just great. He clenched his teeth and glared as pilots shoved into the doorway. “Stars, you stink!” someone said, and far too many people laughed.</p><p>“What <em> is </em> that stuff?”</p><p>“He was out in the jungle again and a giant blob <em> threw up </em> on him. I was there and saw it and made him come back,” Janson added. “It was really gross. Hey, Wedge, grab one of his jumpsuits, will you?”</p><p>“You’re not coming in here,” Zev commanded.</p><p>“Laundry,” Luke muttered under his breath.</p><p>“What?”</p><p><em> “Laundry! </em>Laundry! I’m going to the Laundry!”</p><p>“I just wanted to show him off before we go.” Janson was grinning like a loth-cat. “Isn’t this the most disgusting mess you’ve ever seen? And such a shame, after he got so prettied up. Aww….”</p><p>Luke stomped away.</p><p>“Do you want underwear too?” Wedge called. “Do you think it soaked through?”</p><p>“No! And I am never speaking to any of you again,” he threatened.</p><p>“Please,” Janson said, hurrying to catch up with him. “Of course you will. You can’t stop yourself from talking.”</p><p>Which was almost word-for-word what his father had once said. Luke was thankful Vader wasn’t around to witness this scene.</p><p><em> I am just pleased that I can’t smell it, </em> his father said, and Luke shook his head, pretending he hadn’t heard. </p><p>He snatched the jumpsuit from Janson and trotted ahead to the Laundry, thankful that at least he’d gone commando today.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>He wasn’t anxious to hurry back and be teased even more. Plus, he was smarting from his lack of grace in the fencing class. The small practice room was dark and empty, so he switched on the lights and grabbed one of the shorter sticks. Surrendering to the Force, he went through the maneuvers, watching himself in the clouded steel mirrors. It was too easy this way— for the instructor anyway, if not for him. What was the point of having his powers if he couldn’t use them? But he tuned them out and practiced on his own, trying to replicate the steps and motions that came so naturally with the Force.</p><p>He looked— well, not exactly clumsy, but definitely not as smooth and graceful when he did it on his own. <em> There is no try. </em> So he went through the paces over and over until his clothes were soaked with sweat and beads of perspiration rolled down his face and plastered the hair onto his forehead. One hour, another twenty minutes, and he was improving, he could see it… maybe. Movements smoother, faster— still not at Force level, but better.</p><p>Someone opened the door, letting in a rush of cooling night air, but he didn’t stop until he’d completed the series, then he looked over. It was the Zabrak.</p><p>“Enough for today,” Kodra ordered with no hint of either approval or displeasure. “Zero-five-hundred tomorrow,” and he walked out.</p><p>Exhausted, Luke nodded to the empty doorway and headed back to Laundry for another shower and to exchange his newly cleaned jumpsuit with the one he was wearing. By the time he got to the barracks it was thirty minutes before lights-out.</p><p>Boss only glanced at him, and Luke was at once relieved and disappointed that apparently Garven was no longer his babysitter.</p><p>“Where’ve you been?” Hobbie demanded. “We were worried something threw up on you again. Or ate you.”</p><p>“No, I’ve just been out playing with a stick,” he said thoughtlessly, then blushed when Janson giggled.</p><p>“That’s one I haven’t heard before.”</p><p>There was a chorus of groans at Janson’s teasing. Luke shook his head and gave up. “I’m turning in early.”</p><p>“Watch out for sticky stuff!”</p><p>“You’re so juvenile!” At least he could listen to an educational tape in the privacy of his new room. And get up at…. Oh, never mind, he didn’t want to think about his new morning routine.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>After a long week of classes— and spending a lot of time getting bruised and being thrown to the floor because Kodra didn’t allow him to use the Force during hand-to-hand— and then working and then studying… Luke needed a break from the routine.</p><p>So he contemplated his wardrobe and selected the lightweight formal Sith-ish outfit.  <em> Dad, I need hot weather clothes. It’s miserable here. </em></p><p>After a pause (possibly his father was busy managing the fleet?) Vader said: <em> Of course, Son. Since I am not busy managing the entire Imperial fleet, I will stop by the mall and pick up a few things. Anything else I can get for you? </em></p><p><em> No, just that, thanks. Unless you see something you think I’d like. </em> He smiled and knew his father was smiling too. <em> But I have a question. </em></p><p>
  <em> Black. </em>
</p><p>Luke sighed. <em> I’m not asking your favorite color! I’m serious. </em></p><p>
  <em> Go ahead. I’ll just tell Piett to wait. </em>
</p><p><em> He’ll do that anyway. </em> He had the distinct impression that his dad was enjoying their banter… and why not? Who else would trade quips with the Dark Lord? <em> But seriously… what would happen if there was no war? </em></p><p>
  <em> Be more specific. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Well… what would everyone do? What would happen to all the military people and the ships and the arms and the economies and— everything? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> There will always be war, Luke. </em>
</p><p>He couldn’t interpret the meaning of the regret in his father’s voice. Was it at the thought of ending the war or continuing it? <em> I guess I’ll just ask some of the guys what they think. Hey— I’m doing well in my classes! Kodra doesn’t let me use the Force. I was kinda clumsy at first— still am sometimes— but I’m getting better. </em></p><p>
  <em> Good. And your tapes? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sigh sigh sigh— fine! I’m listening to them! I haven’t started the Sith ones yet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I told you— </em>
</p><p><em> I know, do them first. I’ll start tonight. </em> He grinned. <em> But first I’m going to crash the Officers Lounge and see if they kick me out. </em></p><p>Vader snorted. <em> They should impose no social impediments on you, Son. You are above them all. </em></p><p><em> I know. And I’m cuter too. </em> Someday he might pay for his new arrogant happiness… but then again, maybe he wouldn’t, so he might as well go with it. <em> G’night, Pop! </em></p><p>A snarl of rage snaked along their link, but Luke was pretty certain it was fake and he laughed. Having a nearly normal relationship with his father was intoxicating, and it made him feel… bouncy.</p><p>He went into the main room. Some of the guys were playing sabacc <em> again </em>. Didn’t they know any other games?</p><p>“The Officers Lounge is air-conditioned, isn’t it?” he asked, after checking that Boss wasn’t present.</p><p>“Of course— so I hear,” Porkins said. “Why?”</p><p>Zev chuckled. “I am <em> so </em> glad you’re back! Tell me that you’re going to crash the Lounge— please!”</p><p>Luke nodded. “How long do you think I’ll last?”</p><p>“Can we stand outside and listen?” Hobbie wondered.</p><p>“It’s too hot out there,” Janson muttered. “And you’re not supposed to drink.”</p><p>“I won’t! Is that what the officers do every night? Get drunk?”</p><p>“Watch out for Boss,” Wedge warned. “When he’s not here, he’s there.”</p><p>With a half-salute, Luke headed out to see what sort of fun he could have. This so reminded him of the good times in Mos Eisley. Hopefully, it wouldn’t remind him of the bad times.</p><p>Outside the door to the Lounge, he mentally scanned the occupants. It was surprisingly crowded. He didn’t realize there were so many officers. Huh. Guess it didn’t take much to get a commission in the Alliance. The higher ranks were in the back part of the room, so he shouldn’t be noticed if he snuck in and hung a right. There was no sign that Princess Leia was there, which he supposed wasn’t surprising. After all, she wasn’t an officer.</p><p>Taking advantage of his short height, he ducked low and sidled inside toward the bar. “Hi, may I have a pop?”</p><p>The bartender looked at him, smiled slightly, and said, “How about a cherry <em> soda?” </em></p><p>“Well… okay. On the rocks.”</p><p>“Naturally.”</p><p>“How much?” He fumbled in his pants pocket for change.</p><p>“It’s free… <em> officer.” </em></p><p>“Naturally,” Luke replied with a grin.</p><p>Holding his drink, he studied the room and saw a table with four chairs and three middle-aged officers who looked bored so he made his way toward them, holding his <em> soda </em> overhead as he squeezed through the crowd.</p><p>“Hi! May I join you?”</p><p>They looked at him. One said, “Of course. I’m Kohle, that’s Wilsee, and that’s Priyat.”</p><p>“How d’you do? I’m Commander Loneozer, but call me Oz.” He graced them with his most charming smile and was convinced that they already looked less bored.</p><p>Wilsee sipped his wine. He was human as the other two were, and Luke wondered if the same species always hung out together. “You’re very… young.”</p><p><em> I’ll bet I remind you of the son you either left behind or didn’t have. </em> “I’m from Tatooine,” he said as though that explained his youth.</p><p>It looked for a moment like Wilsee might question that, but the moment passed. “I’m from Naboo.”</p><p>“Really? My mother was from Naboo!” Oh, krit, he’d done it again.</p><p>“That explains your delicate features and excellent taste in garments,” Wilsee said. “We Naboo are noted for our attractiveness. Is your mother an aristocrat? You have that distinctive bearing.”</p><p>He knew his mouth was hanging open but he’d forgotten how to close it. “Uh….”</p><p>Kohle burst into laughter. “Don’t give the kid a hard time! Ignore him,” he said to Luke. “I’m from Naboo, too, and Priyat here is from Alderaan.”</p><p>“Nice,” he replied appreciatively. “I wish I’d been born somewhere more civilized.”</p><p>“Well, Tatooine certainly agreed with you.”</p><p>Was Wilsee flirting with him? “Thank you,” he said politely. “But it was a harsh life. I grew up on a moisture farm and if it weren’t for the war, I’d probably still be there.” He gave a plaintive sigh. “If the war ended tomorrow, what would you all be doing?”</p><p>“I’d return to Naboo,” Wilsee said without hesitation, “and find a rich woman with a lot of property and marry her.”</p><p>Hmm, maybe he <em> wasn’t </em> flirting.</p><p>“He wants to be a country squire,” Kohle explained. “I’d probably stay in the military. I’ve been in for 25 years. Wouldn’t know what else to do with myself.”</p><p>“Oh!” He was surprised, then realized he shouldn’t have been. “So you were in the Imperial… what, army or navy?”</p><p>“Navy. Loved it. Would still be there if Palpatine hadn’t turned into a monster.”</p><p>Priyat scowled. “It was one of your damn Naboo queens who started that mess.”</p><p>Kritpeth. He knew, <em> just knew, </em> what was going to happen next. Although… no, what he was anxious about couldn’t be possible, the timing was off. His mother hadn’t been queen when Palpatine took over...right? “Which queen? What did she do?”</p><p>“Ah, back in the Senate days, she got Valorum booted from his chancellorship and Palpatine put in. It was all downhill from there. He was from Naboo too. Smelled like a conspiracy to me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Stop blaming Naboo for everything that’s gone wrong in the galaxy. I didn’t see Alderaanis doing anything but sitting with their feet up looking holier than thou.” Kohle glared at the other man.</p><p>Oh-oh. “Wait, wait!” Luke beamed his most charming smile to distract them. “But which queen was it? I’ve seen pictures and they all look the same.”</p><p>“Amidala,” Priyat said shortly. “Sanctimonious little—“</p><p>“Enough!” Wilsee’s chair screeched as he pushed it back. “I’ve had enough of your disrespect and—“</p><p><em> “Gentlemen! </em>What’s going on? You know our rules.” General Willard’s voice came from behind him, and Luke slid a little farther down in his chair.</p><p>“Sorry, sir.” Wilsee reseated himself. “We were just trying to educate the youngster and became too… vehement in our opinions.”</p><p>“I see.” Willard took a few steps and Luke looked in the opposite direction, hoping to become invisible. “And who is the youngster— oh. Oz.”</p><p>Luke tilted his head and smiled brilliantly. “Hi, General! Didn’t see you there.”</p><p>Willard mumbled something into his wrist com, then said to Luke, “You don’t belong here, you’re not an officer.”</p><p>“Well, don‘t blame <em> me </em> for that! I can’t enlist without my Dad’s consent— have you even <em> asked </em> him?— well, don’t bother, he says ‘no’— and I can’t be an officer without enlisting and you shouldn’t be putting social impediments on me anyway!”</p><p>Willard grabbed his upper arm and pulled him to his feet, not bothering to respond.</p><p>“Wait, I need my soda!” But he was dragged away. He waved to the three officers who were now looking grumpy instead of bored. “Bye, nice meeting you!”</p><p>Outside, the general didn’t release him, but dragged him silently toward Red barracks. Boss met them halfway.</p><p>“Is it your conscious intention to continually embarrass me?”</p><p>He looked up at Boss from under his lashes, hoping he appeared innocent. “No….” But he couldn’t resist adding: “You sound like my father.”</p><p>Willard released him. “You’ll obey our rules or you’ll be in the brig.”</p><p>“Oh, c’mon, I didn’t commit a crime! I just wanted to have a <em> soda.” </em></p><p>“Not in the Officers Lounge. Stay where you belong.”</p><p>“And just where is that?” Luke put his hands on his hips and glared. “You’re elitist snobs! Some Alliance, you’re as bad as the Empire! You’re supposed to be fighting for freedom!”</p><p>“I’ll leave you to deal with him,” Willard told Boss, then pointed his finger at Luke. “No, you are <em> not </em> going to be a pilot without enlisting, so get that out of your head.”</p><p>“Just because I went to the—“</p><p>“Just because,” Willard mocked, “you can’t follow protocol. One more breach, and you’ll no longer be with us.”</p><p>“This is overkill,” Luke muttered to Willard’s back as he walked away.</p><p>“Look at me.”</p><p>With a sigh, he turned to Boss. “Really? <em> Really </em> was it such a big deal?”</p><p>His question was ignored. “I’d hoped that you’d learned discipline during your training. But—“</p><p>“I <em> did! </em> I just can’t do it all the time!”</p><p>“Oz, you’re—“</p><p>“Luke,” he mumbled resentfully.</p><p><em> “Oz, </em>you’re not a child. But since you persist in behaving like one, I’ll treat you like one. From now on, you can go to your two classes, work your shift, then you’re grounded.”</p><p><em> “Grounded? </em> You’re not my—“</p><p>“You’re staying in the barracks from shift end until morning.”</p><p>“What about food?”</p><p>“I’ll consider it,” Boss said darkly, sounding so much like his father that Luke was startled. Garven steered him toward the barracks. “Go.”</p><p>“Fine.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry. I just… wanted to go somewhere different. I didn’t mean for things to end up this way.”</p><p>Boss sighed. “You never mean to. You’re a locus for trouble.”</p><p>He hadn’t heard the word before, but the definition was pretty clear. He was a locus, his father was a locus, and now it sounded like his mother had been a locus. Well, he might as well get all the locus trouble out of the way right now.</p><p>“I’ll need some time alone to practice. And some body parts or corpses to practice with. Please.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Revelations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Luke surprises Alliance command with a shocking revelation.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FFN 58</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oh, come <em> on!” </em> Luke exclaimed with exasperation. “Not again!”</p><p>Although, truth be told, he’d expected a summons to CC. He wiped his hands on a rag, which was pointless since there was already grease all over his pants, and readied himself to confront—</p><p>No, not <em> confront. </em> It was time to reverse course. Plus, as he paused outside the door, it was only Narra and Boss. Unlike the generals, they would listen to him. He was prepared to defend his infiltration of the Officers Lounge and his request for bodies, but there was something even more important to him at this moment. And he didn’t want his father to overhear.</p><p>
  <em> Dad? Are you there? I need privacy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Why? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Because I’m going to have to be abjectly servile for awhile. </em>
</p><p>One, two, three breaths…. <em> By ‘abjectly servile’ do you mean ‘polite’? </em></p><p>He rolled his eyes, certain that his father could feel the motion. <em> Yes. </em></p><p>
  <em> I might enjoy such a novel attitude from you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Very funny. Just do it because I’m asking. Please? Promise you won’t listen until I talk to you again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Is this something I would not want my offspring doing? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s fine. Just promise. Or else! </em>
</p><p>Skepticism rippled across their bond. <em> Very well. But no drugs or alcohol. </em></p><p><em> No! I already promised that! </em> He waited until he could feel that his father was retreating from the thin wall he’d built. Then he wondered if he’d just been given subtle permission to do anything <em> except </em> drugs or alcohol. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the best time to give something new a try.</p><p>He straightened his jumpsuit as best he could. Maybe it was <em> positive </em> news and not another scolding about his sojourn into officers’ territory. Stepping inside, he stood very straight and clasped his hands behind his back like a good little soldier and waited.</p><p>However….</p><p>“Before you start scolding me, I need some information,” Luke said firmly. “About the fall of the Republic.”</p><p>Narra sighed, which made Luke send him a reminding look. “Go ahead and ask. History 101.”</p><p>“Thanks. Well, one of the guys— <em> officers </em> in the Lounge was from Alderaan and he told the guys from Naboo that their queen put Palpatine in power and he thought it was a conspiracy between them. Did you ever hear about that?”</p><p>“Hmm…. I remember that she was pivotal in removing Chancellor Valorum and putting Palpatine in his place.” Narra sat back in the chair and folded his hands on the table. “There was talk of a conspiracy. I didn’t give it much credit as conspiracy theories are easy to spread and difficult to prove or disprove. There was another theory that the blockade of Naboo was part of a conspiracy involving Palpatine and the Trade Commission to force the queen to defend the planet and ultimately to remove the chancellor.”</p><p>Luke bit his lip. He supposed it was better that his mother was a pawn rather than a traitor to the Republic. “Do you remember which queen it was?” Because maybe Priyat had been wrong and it had been another ruler altogether.</p><p>“Amidala,” Boss said, squashing his hopes. “Later she became a senator and continued to support Palpatine until he took supreme control of the government. Of course, the Jedi supported him too. No one knew his true intentions until it was too late to stop him. That was when the purge of the Jedi occurred.”</p><p>“Huh.” At least Boss was thoughtful enough not to blame his father directly. He interlaced his fingers and squeezed them palms down to hide the tension in them. Seems like something the Jedi should have figured out earlier— a Sith right in front of their faces. “I didn’t know that.” Of course his father knew and had chosen not to tell him. After all of Vader’s confessions, he had left out these important facts about his mother. “Why did she support him? How could no one suspect?”</p><p>“He’d been in the senate a long time. She must have trusted him.” Narra frowned. “How different the galaxy would have been if someone had known his motives.”</p><p>Like his father. When had Anakin Skywalker realized Palpatine’s true identity?</p><p>“Someone who <em> cared, </em> you mean,” Boss corrected. “Certainly there were people who knew and supported him. He couldn’t have gained control without help. History lesson done now, Oz?”</p><p>For all their investigations into his background, they hadn’t researched Padme Naberrie. She was just ‘the mother’, no one worth studying— unlike her Jedi husband. They’d tossed her name aside as unimportant… and he admitted to himself that he could have learned all this if he’d looked into her history instead of only caring about his father. But now what? If he told them her identity that might be another black mark against him. Yet if he <em> didn’t </em> tell them, the truth would come out eventually… and probably it would come from him because he couldn’t stop talking, just like Janson said. And it was so <em> tiring </em> to keep up with lie after lie.</p><p>But he <em> couldn’t </em> tell. It wasn’t their business. They didn’t need to know every private moment of his life and history and definitely didn’t need to speculate any more about his parents and what must have been a very complicated relationship between them and… Palpatine.</p><p>“Oz?”</p><p>“<em>Luke, </em>at least in here. Please.” He stared at his hands, at the knuckles that had gone white, and deliberately unclenched them.</p><p>He felt betrayed. Why hadn’t his father told him? <em> Both </em> his parents had supported Palpatine. Vader had told him nothing about Padme, not even the happy times— maybe, he realized suddenly, because she wasn’t <em> his. </em>She was part of Anakin Skywalker’s life so Darth Vader denied his memories of her.</p><p>Except that she had died giving birth to Luke. <em> On the worst day of my father’s life. </em></p><p>Yet… Luke was part of Anakin’s life, and Vader wanted <em> him.</em></p><p>
  <em> “Oz!” </em>
</p><p>He became conscious of the silence in the room. “Sorry. I was thinking.”</p><p>“Something I encourage you to do more often, but not right now.”</p><p>“I think a lot,” Luke defended. “It’s just that sometimes the words come out before I’ve finished thinking them.”</p><p>Boss laughed a little and Narra couldn’t hide the quirk of his lips.</p><p>“We’re doing some thinking too.” Narra looked at Boss, who gestured to Narra, who cleared his throat. “I’ve talked to High Command and we’re rethinking your request to become a pilot.”</p><p>Miraculously, Luke kept a serious face. “I’m already a pilot.”</p><p>“A fighter pilot. You need training. One flight during battle doesn’t mean you’re skilled enough to take on missions.”</p><p>Luke smiled slightly. Time to shake them up a little. “Well, I’ve flown TIEs,” he said innocently. “That should count for something.”</p><p>Commander Narra sighed, picked up his stylus and gnawed on the tip. “TIEs,” he said slowly. “You’ve flown TIEs? Well, why not…. Should we expect more surprises in the future?”</p><p>Luke grimaced. “Oh… well… I don’t know. I’ve only flown a TIE once. Twice or…  maybe. Just for fun, not for fighting. That was an example of words that came out when I didn’t think long enough first.”</p><p>“We noticed,” Boss said. “I’m willing to consider your training in a few weeks. <em> If, </em>and only if, you faithfully continue your combat and fencing classes as well as your work schedule.”</p><p>He was more than slightly offended. “You have a lot of criticisms of me, and maybe <em> some </em> of them are justified, but one thing I am <em> not </em> is a quitter!” His voice shook with passion he hadn’t realized he felt. “It doesn’t matter what happens or how bad things get or what I have to do— I don’t <em> quit!” </em></p><p>Unless walking away from Yoda counted. He should’ve stopped thinking before he thought that thought… but that would constitute quitting, so…. He sighed.</p><p>“I know that,” Boss replied quietly. “I shouldn’t have put it quite that way. I just want to be sure of your consistency before we commit to training you.”</p><p>Frankly, that sounded like the same criticism but using different words. This one time he’d let them get away with it. And obviously they weren’t going to <em> ask </em> him to sit down, so he dropped onto the chair next to Boss. “You know, it’s not easy being me. You have no idea of the burdens I carry.”</p><p>“Oz,” Commander Narra began with a touch of weariness in his voice, “you need to conform to our rules. Stop deliberately causing conflicts and—“</p><p>“Oz doesn’t conform,” he snapped, irritated. “Why don’t you try asking <em> Luke </em> about <em> his </em> burdens and <em> his </em> intentions and <em> his </em> problems?”</p><p>“All right. Why doesn’t <em> Luke </em> tell us about his burdens?” </p><p>Before he could fire back a response, Boss shook his head. “You’re sixteen. It will take another few decades to understand what burdens really are. And telling your teammates that you visited with Vader and that he, of all absurdities, furnished you with a new wardrobe— which, granted, I suspect was the truth— doesn’t help anyone believe that your intentions are serious.”</p><p>“Damned if I do, damned if I don't,” Luke grumbled.</p><p>“Let’s hear him out.” Narra gestured with one hand.</p><p>Obviously he’d done the words-before-thought again, and he wasn’t prepared to explain himself. But he might not have another chance, especially without his father listening in. And he <em> really </em> didn’t want Vader to know about his uncertainties.</p><p>“I have so much inside me,” he said, struggling to fumble through his feelings, “and there’s no way to let it out. It just keeps building and building until I feel like I might explode. But there’s nowhere to practice and I have to keep hiding and lying and I can’t keep on thinking up reasonable stories to explain my whole damn existence and—“</p><p>“Are you talking about the Force?” Boss asked, and when Luke nodded, he added: “But now everyone knows you’re a Sensitive, and Command and Red Squad know you’ve had Jedi training, so—“</p><p>“I’m not a <em> Jedi!” </em> He nearly shouted. “Yoda was horrible— the terrible things he made me see and do— I <em> never </em> want to be a Jedi! But that’s not the point!”</p><p>“Explain to us,” Narra said quietly. “Help us understand.”</p><p>“When I was young— <em> younger,” </em> he corrected in case they mocked his age, “I could naturally do things and know things that other people couldn’t, but I wasn’t allowed to, so I had to hide it and never use it.” Purposely, he unfolded his fingers. The prosthetic ones had pressed red marks atop his real hand, and they faded gradually as he watched. “Once I started learning from my father, it was like I’d been sleeping and was finally waking up. And now, since Yoda… I know I could do so much more, but I still have to hide and I can't let it loose and I don't have time to practice, but I <em> have </em> to practice so I can build on what I know. Otherwise I’ll… fail.”</p><p>Narra sighed— again. “That sounds like a lot for anyone to bear, and I wish there was someone here who could understand what you’re going through. But there’s not. And I don’t know what we can do to help you. Do you?”</p><p>Luke shook his head, allowing himself to feel his pain and misgivings, but keeping them tucked inside with everything else. Maybe there was a chance that Kodra would understand. “I guess not. There are no Jedi left, there are only Sith. And I have to hide from him until I’m ready, so….”</p><p>“Hide from Vader? Why?” Boss shook his head. “After all you’ve said about your relationship—“</p><p>“No, from <em> Palpatine, </em>I told you that!” Luke tucked his hands under his thighs to warm them. “It’s really cold in here.”</p><p>Distractedly, Narra pushed a button and the flow of cool air slowed. “What are you…?”</p><p>“I’ve been studying my Sith tapes and—“</p><p>“<em>Sith tapes?” </em></p><p>“You have to know your enemy,” Luke reminded them.</p><p>“But your <em> father </em> is the Sith Lord! He’s not your enemy… or— or is he?” Boss almost stuttered.</p><p>That was going too far. “Of course not! But there are only two Sith at a time, the Master and the Apprentice!”</p><p>“So….” Narra shook his head, obviously as confused as Boss. “Does that mean… are you Vader’s Apprentice?”</p><p>“Seriously?” Luke huffed in exasperation. “No, my <em> dad </em> is the Apprentice! Palpatine is the Master!”</p><p>They were staring hard at him, and he twitched uncomfortably.</p><p>“Are you saying,” Boss choked out the words, “that the <em> Emperor </em> is a Sith?”</p><p>“Doesn’t everyone know that?” Luke asked, bewildered. “His Sith name is Darth Sidious.”</p><p>“<em>What? </em> Are you sure? Where— how— who told you?”</p><p>“Who do you think told me?” He’d just assumed that everyone knew. Although now that he thought about it, <em> he </em> hadn’t known until his dad… oh… wait, his dad had <em> reminded </em> him, so he must have known a long time ago and forgotten. Had he ever even thought about Palpatine before coming to his father?</p><p>
  <em> He is my Master, I must obey. </em>
</p><p>“No….” But Narra was only reacting with dismay, not questioning his words. “We need Dodonna and Willard in here.”</p><p>He spoke into his com while Luke groaned to Boss. “They hate me. This will make everything worse. Can we wrap up my part before they get here? Like… can I have some body parts or corpses to practice on?”</p><p>Narra finished his com and his expression mirrored Boss’s disgust. “Oz— <em> Luke— </em> What do you want them for?”</p><p>He chewed on his lower lip. “Well… to see if I can dissolve them or blow them up.”</p><p>Boss swore on deities Luke had never heard of. “Why? <em> Why? </em> How could you even come up with such a Sith-forsaken idea?”</p><p>“From Vader,” Narra said flatly.</p><p>“I—Yes— No, Yoda— I mean, it just <em> happened </em> when I was with Yoda.And I made a mess the other night when I blew up that thing in the jungle, so I need to learn how to do it properly. I have to practice.”</p><p>“Force almighty!” Boss kept shaking his head. “Just— just <em> stop </em> and save yourself!”</p><p>That was a new one. Luke tilted his head. “How?” he asked curiously. “From what?”</p><p>Boss stood and shoved his chair. It clattered to the floor, startling them. “Get away from Vader! Damnit— save yourself!”</p><p>“I’d rather save <em> him!” </em> he snapped, standing and backing away, afraid of what he might do if he lost his own temper.</p><p>The door was pushed open. Boss picked up the chair and quickly sat. Luke followed his lead and dropped back down.</p><p>“Save who?” Dodonna demanded as he and General Willard entered.</p><p>“Let’s table that discussion for later,” Narra said quickly. “We just learned some incredibly important and shocking information from… Luke.”</p><p>“What is it?” The two generals joined Narra at the table like they were the judges and Luke was the defendant… like it was Luke and Boss versus them… except that Narra turned his chair to a neutral position as if distancing himself from what was certain to be a violent storm.</p><p>“You mean… like dissolving corpses?” That seemed like the lesser crime right at this moment. He hoped that he looked harmless.</p><p>“No!” Narra said, exasperated. “Tell them what you told us about the Emperor.”</p><p>“I thought everyone knew.” He raised his hands in an unconsciously protective position. “Palpatine is a Sith Lord. The big one. The Master. My father just… reports to him. He’s the Apprentice.”</p><p>In the distance he could hear the sound of rattling equipment and the voices of crew members in the hangar and desperately wished he was there and not here.</p><p>“He’s a what?” Dodonna asked slowly.</p><p>“I thought everyone <em> knew.” </em> Luke decided repetition was his best defense. “Is it supposed to be a secret?”</p><p>“A Sith…?” Willard folded his hands like he was going to pray but instead leaned them on his forehead. “This changes everything. And it explains so much.”</p><p>The silence lengthened and grew quietly oppressive as the others considered the repercussions of the revelation. Luke managed to not fidget and not speak. He wondered if it was time to open up to his father, but decided to try to handle things himself. <em> There is no try. </em></p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>He nodded to General Dodonna. “His name is Darth Sidious.”</p><p>It got quieter and quieter until Luke thought he could hear everyone’s heartbeats. Maybe he could.</p><p>“I wish we could take apart your mind and learn what else is in there,” Dodonna muttered darkly, and Luke cringed inside.</p><p>“How do we fight two Sith when we have no Jedi?” Willard said heavily.</p><p>“One,” Luke corrected without… thinking first.</p><p>Willard obviously didn’t understand what he’d said. “So you’re a Jedi now?”</p><p>“No! I’m not a Jedi! I never will be, I don’t… approve of what they do.”</p><p>Dodonna stroked his beard. “Then you’re a Sith?”</p><p>“No! Why do I have to be one or the other? I’m just a Force… user.” He frowned. If someday he had to decide…. “I guess I could be a Sith. Maybe. They use their emotions. Jedi are so… they aren’t passionate about anything… that’s what I understand anyway. They try to be neutral. But… I’ve known two Jedi and maybe they had the right reasons, but they did the wrong things.” He studied his fingernails, appreciating that the prosthetic nails never seemed to get grease underneath. Maybe they were glued flat to his fingers. He hadn't looked at them closely and suddenly they were very interesting. “And the Sith are angry and I get angry, so….”</p><p>“Everyone gets angry,” Boss said gently. “You’re not an angry person, Luke. Though you try to hide it, you have a gentle heart.”</p><p>“Can you forgo the counseling session for now?” Willard asked, but not rudely, as he finally caught up with the conversation. “We have a bigger problem. Oz, why did you say there’s one Jedi?”</p><p>He didn’t bother to correct his name. “I didn’t! I meant that for practical purposes, there’s only one Sith, not two, because my father and I will stand together against Sidious. We just have to figure out how and when. And I have to complete my training.” He sent a pointed look at Narra. “I need to practice so I can save my father from Sidious.”</p><p>“You’re so damned young,” Willard said, sounding almost pitying. “Vader can’t be ‘saved’, whatever that means to you. He’s done too much to too many.”</p><p>He trembled inside but refused to let them see. “Like I did by blowing up the Death Star? You covered that up and blamed Biggs. You protected me— why can’t you protect <em> him? </em> If I can complete my training and help him and we can—“</p><p>“You don’t know everything he’s done. He’s a monster. And why you think he would side with <em> you </em> over the Emperor is—”</p><p>“Of course I know everything he’s done, probably more than you do.” Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. “And while I realize he’s responsible for millions of deaths, I don’t think he’s ever managed two million with a single torpedo. That I recall, anyway.” He added the last caveat because he simply didn’t know if it was true. “Does that make <em> me </em> a monster?”</p><p>Boss cursed again and leaned toward him— too close, but Luke refused to rear back an inch. “Are you <em> that </em> naive? You can’t separate Vader’s actions from the Emperor’s— the galaxy knows what he’s done as Palpatine’s enforcer, and everyone, even Imperials hate him—“</p><p>“No they don’t! His officers are loyal— the 501st is loyal— people who really know him are loyal!”</p><p>“Like you?” Dodonna asked though it wasn’t truly a question.</p><p>“Yes, like me. But I’m different because...” Luke hesitated. “...I love him. He’s my dad.”</p><p>”Oz—“</p><p>“<em>Luke! </em> And why are you getting so righteous all of a sudden?” Luke demanded. “You take his credits to keep me. I guess you’re not so fussy about blood when it comes to blood <em> money.</em> And if he joins us and I can help him take down Sidious—”</p><p>Narra put his head in his hands. “Luke, you’re barely out of childhood—“</p><p>“What? Are you kidding?” None of them would look him in the eyes. “You don’t know what my father has been through or what I’ve been through. You don’t know what happened to make him into what he is.” </p><p>“The thing is,” Willard said heavily, “we don’t <em> care </em> what happened to him. We have to deal with Palpatine being a Sith. Your father is what he is.”</p><p>“And I am what I am. And you don’t know what to do with me, none of you. You try to corral me, make me fit into the box where normal people fit, but I’m not normal.” His gaze flicked over Dodonna and Willard, sensing what they tried to hide from him. “You want me <em> gone— </em> preferably dead, but you’re afraid what would happen if you kill me.” <em> Or try to, </em>he added privately. <em> Good luck with that. </em></p><p>“Ah, no!” Narra protested. “We don’t want to kill you!”</p><p>“They’re already considering it,” he stated, nodding toward the two generals, “if they could figure out an accident. Why do you think they’re telling you to reconsider my piloting request? That would make an accident so much easier. Old ships malfunction now and then.”</p><p>Narra shook his head, but looked at the others with doubt reverberating in his voice. “Tell me that’s not true.”</p><p>Dodonna’s unreadable expression didn’t change. “We must have contingencies in place.”</p><p>“Wait,” Boss frowned at them. “Are you saying that you’ve seriously considered murder and actually have a plan in place?”</p><p>“Not murder,” Willard replied, “neutralization. The possibility of accidental death has been discussed. We have no plans— it was just an idea we tossed around.”</p><p><em> “Tossed around?” </em> Boss said exactly what Luke was thinking. “You would murder a sixteen-year-old boy because of who his father is? That’s not the Alliance I serve.”</p><p>“Not because of his father,” Willard snapped, “because of <em> him! </em> He wants to <em> dissolve people! </em> That’s sick and perverted— does <em> that </em> sound like the Alliance any of us serve?”</p><p>“Not <em> people!” </em> Luke interjected desperately. “Just Palpatine!”</p><p>That shut them up for a moment, so he took the opportunity to plead his case— or for his life. “Palpatine isn’t going away. The only way to defeat him is for my father and I to confront him together. What in seven hells do you think I’ve been doing all this training and studying <em> for? </em> If I don’t practice and learn to dissolve him from a distance, I’ll have to be too close to him and he’ll kill me and my father can’t do it alone. I <em> need </em> to practice.”</p><p>“We’ll find a place you can use and have all the practice time you need, Luke,” Narra said quietly, “but not with bodies. I won’t allow it. There’s a point….” He hesitated. “When someone is corrupted too much, there’s no going back to any semblance of a human being. I don’t want that to happen to you.”</p><p>“The way it did to Vader,” Dodonna grumbled, and Narra gave him an exasperated look.</p><p>But Narra’s words plumbed the depth of his fears about himself and his father. Maybe there <em> was </em> no redemption for his dad. Maybe there wouldn’t be any for <em> him </em> if he followed too closely behind Vader.</p><p>So what? What the hell was ‘redemption’ anyway? Another Jedi mind-control trick intended to keep the Knights in line?</p><p>“I understand your misgivings,” Luke said slowly. “And I’ll… respect your directions.” <em> Maybe. </em> “But I will never give up on my father. He <em> is </em> a human being. He’s a man who can love and be loved. I will do whatever I can to save him, no matter what you think or say.” He tried to smile, but he was exhausted. “But he’ll do the same for me and I’m afraid… I’m afraid that’s how we could lose everything.” The last words were soft and meant only for himself, and he knew the others wouldn’t understand.</p><p>Because, in the deepest recesses of his heart, he knew that for both his father and himself ‘losing everything’ meant losing each other, not failure to free the galaxy from Palpatine’s iron rule.</p><p>He shook off his pain and stood. “Permission to get back to work.”</p><p>“Permission granted,” Narra said quietly. </p><p>He hesitated a moment to see if anyone would say more to him, but they were silent. He turned to leave, but remembered: “Oh, yeah... there’s an agent here. Maybe from Palpatine. I don’t know who it is yet, but I’ll figure it out. In the meanwhile….” This time he considered before he spoke and decided it was wise. “Keep an eye on the new mech Tadeo. And his brother.”</p><p>He pulled the door closed behind him and sucked in a deep breath that was heavy with humidity and heat. If it were drier, he could pretend he was still home on Tatooine, safe. He checked on the temporary shield that he’d built between him and his father and decided to leave it in place for awhile longer.</p><p>At least until he could figure out how to explain what he’d done. And to decide if he wanted to ask about his mother.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. A Step Too Far</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Luke spent too much time in the company of the Dark Lord, and now he crosses a line.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FFN 59</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b></b> Much as he didn’t want to speak to his father, he really <em> did. </em> Plus, he had to. He’d already kept Vader waiting for days, aware of the presence that poked at his shields a few times but respected his distance.</p><p>The squad was at dinner while he worked on a night shift X-wing. Some days his shifts were longer because Kodra would devote extended time to him, a few more lessons in hand-to-hand that were practiced in unnerving near-silence except for his grunts and gasps when he landed so hard that the breath was knocked out of him. <em> No Force, just you. </em> Luke longed to ask if the Zabrak could help him with lightsaber techniques because he could feel a moderate level of Force strength in the other— and also because the staffs they used in class were nothing like using a lightsaber. But Kodra gave him no indication that questions would be welcome. Quite the opposite, in fact, so Luke bided his time.</p><p>Maybe he should eat before he spoke to Vader. Food might help to take the edge off his nerves, plus it would give him a little more time to figure out how to frame his confessions. He had a feeling that the Palpatine-is-Sidious thing would go over better than the was-my-mother-a-traitor question. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if the second question was a really bad idea. Maybe this was a time for… circumspection.</p><p>No one was in sight, so he jumped from the cockpit to the floor, landing lightly and soundlessly, still marveling at the small miracles he could achieve.</p><p>His wrist com made a tiny noise, the reminder he’d programmed to tell him not to miss a meal time. Command finally trusted him with both his new blaster and a wrist communicator, at least while he searched for the Imperial agent. He was pretty sure they wouldn’t demand either back, especially if he succeeded in his mission.</p><p>Another alarm went off, this one in his head. Something wasn’t right. Cautiously, he prowled the hangar, focusing on the dark flare of danger. It was so quiet now. He’d tell Command that they needed more security during shift changes when Day was at dinner and Night was having breakfast. He was willing to bet that his father tolerated no such lapses anywhere in the Imperial fleet.</p><p>He heard a small clank of metal and slipped around a snub, coming up behind a dark-haired man dressed in mechanics overalls who stood next to an X.</p><p>“Hello,” Luke said pleasantly. “You look lost. Can I help you?”</p><p>The man had whirled at his first word, and Luke felt his heart speed, heard his rapid pulse, saw his brown eyes dilate. “No…thanks. I… I’m looking for my brother. He usually works around here.”</p><p><em> Around Wedge’s X-wing? I don’t think so— not since I’m back. </em> But he kept smiling. “You must be Tadeo’s brother. I’m Oz,” he held out his hand.</p><p>After a barely noticeable hesitation, the other took it and they shook. “Yeah. I’m Staden. I heard about you from Tadeo. Thanks for coming back so he could work with me again.”</p><p>It was surprisingly easy to maintain the smile on his face, but inside he was processing the information he’d gleaned from the simple meeting of their hands. Interesting, this was the first time he’d experienced the additional insight he could gain with a physical touch. “I think Tadeo is visiting Red barracks now. I’m on my way— come with me.” He added a mild Force push with the suggestion, and it worked beautifully.</p><p>“Sure.” There was still a hint of unease that Luke soothed delicately as they walked.</p><p>“Where are you and Tadeo from? I haven’t had much chance to talk to him.”</p><p>Staden talked— too much, nervously— but Luke allowed it to reach him only peripherally. All he cared about was getting the older man out of the hangar before he did any further damage. It was a pity that Staden loved his little brother, because neither of them would come out of this unscathed. But Staden should have thought of Tadeo before he took this assignment and dragged the kid with him.</p><p>He sensed that Boss was in Red— which was good because Luke needed him as a witness to whatever was about to happen. And he was very sure what he was going to do. This man couldn’t be allowed back to Palpatine with information he might have learned, and the Alliance couldn’t keep him in the brig forever. There was only one alternative and there was no reason to leave his execution to Command. They would only hesitate and worry about the moral implications when actually it was quite straightforward. His father would be proud of his ability to make a difficult decision.</p><p>Luke opened the door and ushered Staden in first, whispering against his ear. “Are you looking for something more? Another likely site for sabotage?” he asked, thereby sealing the man’s fate.</p><p>There came a blank look of incomprehension, then dark eyes widened—</p><p>—and he turned back to the door.</p><p>It wouldn’t open, no matter how he tugged and pulled.</p><p>“You’re not leaving.” Luke folded his arms and waited, not disarming the spy whose fingers were twitching at his sides.</p><p>Across the room, Boss stood.  “What’s going on?” he asked sharply.</p><p>Luke sighed. “He’s the Imperial agent.” He couldn’t allow Staden to leave, but he couldn’t kill him in front of Boss.</p><p>At least…. not directly.</p><p>“Are you certain?”</p><p>He nodded. “Yes,” he said sadly. It was possible that the other man’s presence meant that Palpatine suspected Luke was there… or maybe Staden was just meant to attack an Alliance base. Either way, his father would not be happy that his son was at risk. Abruptly he shattered the wall he’d built and shared that information. He felt Vader’s responding anger. “He’s attached a bomb that will blow out a stabilizer on Wedge’s X. I sensed him before he could do damage to other ships.”</p><p>Boss inhaled sharply but didn’t question his assessment. “I'm detaining you subject to investigation.” Boss took a step toward Staden, stopping when the man’s blaster was raised.</p><p>Not quite regretfully, Luke implanted his suggestion. <em> It’s so pure, so ultimately fundamental… people are so easy to manipulate. </em></p><p>“I wonder if his brother is involved,” he questioned sweetly as he applied a Force suggestion. “We should detain Tadeo, too.”</p><p>“No!” the spy shouted. “No!” But his shaking hand raised and the blaster muzzle pointed at his own temple. “NO!” he cried out once more, fighting against his own hand, before he pulled the trigger.</p><p>Boss flinched back in horror. Luke frowned. This was a worse mess than the snake. <em> I don’t like doing this, </em> he sent. <em> It’s disgusting. </em> He checked his jumpsuit for splatter, but fortunately it only had grease spots.</p><p>
  <em> It was unavoidable. I will investigate further from here to ascertain what he discovered. You must search through his belongings, see if he had communicated any suspicions. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I will. </em>
</p><p>Reluctantly, he moved to the back of the room, not reacting as Security swept in, answering Boss’s urgent com, their blasters drawn. He stood there silently for minutes as their rec area filled with Command officers and Red pilots pushing inside, heedless of Security trying to keep them back.</p><p>“What happened here?” General Dodonna demanded of Garven.</p><p>“He… shot himself after Oz identified him as an Imperial agent,” Boss said, his voice steady but with shock underlying under his calm facade.</p><p>Dodonna and Willard looked at him while Narra remained crouched by the body along with Chief Nikran. “Did you recognize him? Do you know him?” Dodonna asked, eyes narrowed.</p><p>“No. Why would I know him? I’m not an Imperial.” Luke shook his head. “He’s the mech’s brother. Tadeo’s. I felt a disturbance in the Force— an Imperial presence— when I saw him in the hangar at Antilles’s X-wing. I had to get him out of there without rousing his suspicion. I told him Tadeo was in the barracks, so here we are.…” He gestured at the bloody scene.</p><p>The pilots all nodded and a few mumbled agreements even though they hadn’t been present. “Yes,” Boss confirmed. “When I attempted to take him into custody, he drew his blaster and killed himself.”</p><p>Commander Willard looked up at Luke. “You’re back a few weeks and we already have a casualty.”</p><p>Not fair. <em> And at least I didn’t blow him up. </em> “Would you rather I <em> didn’t </em>tell you about an Imperial mole?”</p><p>“No.” Willard stood and shook his head. “No, I wouldn't. Thank you.”</p><p>The medical team pushed through the crowd outside their door and began to load the body onto a gurney. A cleaning crew stood by, waiting wordlessly.</p><p>“Sorry,” Luke said to Boss. “I guess I could have handled that better.”</p><p>“How?” The older man studied him. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said with the faintest hint of a question in his voice.</p><p>“I know.” It was only a mild strain to nod an agreement. After all, it hadn’t been his <em> fault, </em> it had been his <em> intention. </em></p><p>
  <em> Good work, Son.</em>
</p><p>He didn’t respond, but basked in his father’s praise.</p><p>“Get with Green Leader and go through his belongings,” Dodonna ordered Chief Nikran.</p><p>“If I may view them first,” Luke said quietly. “I’d like to get whatever impressions I can before too many people touch them in case he was more than a saboteur.”</p><p>Dodonna and Willard exchanged looks. “Very well,” Willard said. “What about the X-wing? Can you mitigate the damage he caused?”</p><p><em> I could, but that doesn’t sound like a job for a… Sithly Force user. </em> “You should get the bomb squad on it.” He closed his eyes in obvious concentration, though he didn’t need to. It was simply part of the show. “That was the only ship he got to before I stopped him. I’ll check his belongings for more bomb-making materials, but he may have them hidden somewhere in the hangar.”</p><p>He would make them <em> ask </em> for it.</p><p>Dodonna hesitated, then: “Could you… <em> sense </em> if there are any materials in the hangar?”</p><p>“Of course.” Luke dipped his head in a show of false respect. “Seal off Green barracks so no one contaminates the scene, and I’ll go to the hangar first.”</p><p>He waited.</p><p>“Thank you,” General Dodonna said with open reluctance, and Willard nodded at him.</p><p>As they began to follow the body out, Luke added, “His brother Tadeo had no knowledge of what was intended.”</p><p>Willard’s mouth thinned. “How do you know?”</p><p>“I can feel it.”</p><p>Dodonna flashed him an odd look. “You won’t <em> mind </em> if we look into him ourselves?”</p><p>“Why would I mind?” He shrugged as they left.</p><p>Boss was at his shoulder. “So Tadeo isn’t in on the plot?”</p><p>Luke shook his head.</p><p>“Then why,” Garven said slowly, “did you suggest to the spy that his brother was involved?”</p><p>“I didn’t, I just asked him so I could receive a sense of the truth.” He tilted his head to look at Boss and blinked innocently. “As I said, I could have handled it better.”</p><p>The cleaning crew came in and began their distasteful job of cleaning blood and bits of brain matter and skin from the area.</p><p>“Sithspawn,” Wedge muttered, and Luke turned to see if the pilot was addressing him. But no, he was staring at the mess. He looked over and met Luke’s gaze. “Thanks for not letting me get blown to bits, Oz.”</p><p>He smiled brightly, happy they appreciated him for more than his mechanical skills. “Thanks. I’m not just a pretty face.”</p><p>“And yet you are!” Janson poked him in the ribs. “But the generals sure don’t like dealing with a Jedi.”</p><p>“I’m <em> not </em> a Jedi!”</p><p>“We know you’re not,” Zev said in his usual quiet voice. “We just don’t know what else to call you when you’re….”</p><p>“When I’m what?” The hesitance was interesting.</p><p>“You’re a little scary sometimes,” Porkins said flatly. “You know… when you… zone out.”</p><p>“Oh.” That's all? “It’s called <em> thinking</em>, you should try it sometime.” He grinned to take any unintended sting out of his words. “See you later.”</p><p>They mumbled farewells, but when he glanced back he saw that Boss was standing with his arms folded, watching him.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>He found explosive material hidden in the hangar but nothing in Green barracks to indicate the agent had reported to Palpatine.</p><p><em> Probably waiting for his contact, </em> his father commented, <em> who may or may not be there already. Have you sensed any other anomalies? </em></p><p>Anomalies? <em> I don’t think so…. But do you have time to get together? I want to talk to you about a few things. In person, not like this and not in our heads. </em></p><p><em> No. </em> His father sounded annoyed. <em> I told you I’m readying for Empire Day tomorrow. I do not have time for your endless questions. </em></p><p><em> Oh. </em> His father did nothing to take the ‘unintended sting’ out of <em> his </em> words. Maybe they weren’t unintended. <em> Sorry, I just— Are you still thinking like me? </em> Maybe that was the reason for his dad’s curtness, he was suffering from Luke-Speak.</p><p>
  <em> No. I eliminated those absurd, useless thoughts. Tomorrow you must block your emotions. Do not use the Force. The Emperor will be expecting some reaction from you, but do not react no matter what happens. </em>
</p><p><em> What do you mean, no matter what happens? </em> he yelped. <em> Is he going to hurt you? </em></p><p>
  <em> Not in front of the galaxy. This is his day and he enjoys it. But he will want another sort of satisfaction for his day. If he could find you— Luke, I will say this as politely as I can: shut up, leave me alone, and raise every shield you have. </em>
</p><p><em> That’s Oz-Speak! </em> “Well, happy anniversary on the worst day of your life, never mind about my birthday,” he muttered, not realizing he’d accidentally sent that thought until his father’s door slammed closed. <em> Sorry, </em>but his apology went nowhere.</p><p>Great. He hoped he hadn’t distracted his dad by his… <em> endless questions. </em> He supposed he should quit asking and find his answers elsewhere. But where would that be?</p><p><em> Palpatine</em>, his treacherous brain whispered and he built another wall around that idea.</p><p>Then he eliminated his absurd, useless thought.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>“So what do you do here for Empire Day?” Luke asked that night as he turned off a tape that described the excruciatingly boring early days before the Sith were Sith. “Do we get a day off? Or some sort of party? On Tatooine we had races.”</p><p>The abrupt silence was so startling that he looked at each of them in turn. The sabaac players put down their cards, Janson stopped twirling the blue feathered hat he held in hands, and Porkins chuckled.</p><p>“Oz,” Zev drawled, “seriously… try to remember which side you’re on. We don’t celebrate Empire Day.”</p><p>“Oh.” He blushed. “But I overheard someone say there was a celebration.”</p><p>“A <em> private </em> celebration for Princess Leia’s birthday,” Boss said as he sprawled sideways in a chair. “And before you ask, no, you’re not invited.”</p><p>“I didn’t think I would be!” Well, that was weird that he and Leia had the same birthday. But probably millions of beings shared that day. Maybe billions. “How old is she?”</p><p>“Seventeen,” Janson said when no one else spoke. “I follow the gossip channel. They say she had an affair with a Senate page last year.”</p><p>“Huh.” Same age as him too. And she felt Force emanations like his dad had noticed. It was disconcerting. And creepy. How did she get to be a princess, anyway? She was just a girl. “Alderaan has a king and queen, right?”</p><p>“Only a queen.” Janson plopped the hat on his head. “But Leia is adopted. They got her when she was a newborn.”</p><p>“How do you know that?” Hobbie asked grumpily. “You’re making it up!”</p><p>“No I’m not! You’re just jealous because I know everything!”</p><p>Luke tuned them out as their banter continued. He really didn’t like where his thoughts were heading. Same age, orphans, and as babies she was adopted by royalty while he was just… dumped on a Sithforesaken, uncivilized planet with strangers. And they both felt the Force, though obviously she wasn’t as strong in it as he was. And she was short too.</p><p>Well. It was another of his <em> absurd, useless thoughts, </em> there were billions of people with the same birthdate who… could touch the Force. At least hundreds, right? It didn’t mean anything. Still, he shoved that thought to another spot in the hidden recesses of his mind and put up another wall. Because he definitely didn’t want his father to feel it and get curious. It was just the two of them now and forever. Neither of them needed another complication.</p><p>He raised another wall in case one wasn’t enough. It felt like his mind was getting full of walls and wondered how much room was left.</p><p>“Oz?”</p><p>He blinked and saw Zev’s mouth quirk in a half-smile. “Zoning out again,” he warned. “Boss is talking to you.”</p><p>“Sorry.” He sent Red Leader a questioning look.</p><p>“I said, Command will be viewing the broadcast of the Emperor’s speech in the morning and they’ve invited you.”</p><p>“I wanna go too!” Janson exclaimed. “I want to see the Big Man in Black!”</p><p>“No,” Boss said flatly. “Oz?”</p><p>“Of course. Thanks.” He would be happy to see his dad, but after their little talk his feelings were mixed. His father had sounded annoyed with him. Or had he sounded <em>afraid</em> for him? What if Palpatine did something horrible to Vader while he was watching? What if his dad was hurt? What if <em>he</em> did something to attract Sidious’s attention? What if <em>he</em> was hurt? He would have to be so cautious. Although evidently his shielding was pretty good, even from himself, because he’d almost forgotten that he’d murdered a man today.  Huh.</p><p>Come to think of it, since he’d been with Yoda he no longer heard those billions of people who’d cried after the Death Star. His shields must be exceptionally excellent. He just had to be certain of their strength tomorrow when Palpatine was searching.</p><p>His father would be proud. That thought should have made him happier than it did.</p><p>“I’ll be really careful,” he promised himself.</p><p>“What?” Zev asked.</p><p>“Maybe he means he’ll be <em> polite,” </em>Wedge suggested.</p><p>“Definitely.” Luke grinned. “In fact, I’ll be abjectly servile.”</p><p>To the sound of their mild laughter, he turned on his tape again and resigned himself to boredom for another hour. At least the tape would keep his mind occupied.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Empire Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A bad day for Luke. </p><p>Note new tag warnings for described Vader violence, PTSD, inference of underage assault (past)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>FFN 60</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b></b>Three hours. Coruscant time was three hours ahead of the time their base used, so his father was already busy, although he may have been working all night. It was weird that he wasn’t sure if Vader ever slept. A son should know that sort of thing.</p><p>He had finished both his classes, been thumped a few times in hand-to-hand, but more than held his own in woodstickmanship. Even without using the Force, he was accomplishing so much. He wished he could tell his father, but this was No-Force Day, and he needed to be cautious. Guilt skittered along the edges of his conscience. He should be more supportive of Vader, more attentive, more concerned about what his father was going through. He knew he should feel some sort of guilt over the murder of the spy but he couldn’t make himself consider it. Whatever happened wasn’t his fault. As for Tadeo… well, his fate wasn’t up to Luke, he’d said what he could. There was nothing more he could do. </p><p>Breakfast/dinner choices were displayed in the mess hall. There wasn’t much difference between the two meals. Luke selected the nameless meat, fruit and milk. He’d never asked where the milk came from. It was obviously fresh, but thin and watery and so far he hadn’t seen any animals that looked capable of producing milk. It was probably plant-based, but he could pretend it was real milk like his dad wanted him to drink. Plus if the milk was plant-based, he didn’t have to eat the repulsive, soggy vegetables, right?</p><p>“Hi.” He put his tray down between Zev and Janson and climbed over the bench. “Shove over.”</p><p>“Ugh, take a shower.” Janson wrinkled his nose.</p><p>“I will, after this.” It looked like the entire Red Squad was here, even ones from the other shift lingering. He hoped Command was heeding his suggestion about security at shift change, especially today of all days. “Why is everybody here?”</p><p>“Something’s up,” Zev muttered, nodding his head to where Garven Dreis and Commander Narra were standing and talking. “Happy Empire Day, Oz.”</p><p>He grinned, feeling a little shy and wishing he could tell everyone that it was his birthday. But he didn’t want them knowing that he and—</p><p>Oh, krit! What if his dad knew that today was Leia’s birthday, too? What if dad made the same connection he had? What if—</p><p>“I need your attention, gentlemen,” Narra said at the head of the table.</p><p>Luke’s stomach churned a little. This had never happened before. And it was Empire Day. Something truly awful must be happening and he wondered—</p><p>
  <em> No Force No Force No Force  </em>
</p><p>“Commander Dreis and I are swapping jobs. I will be your squad leader, and Commander Dreis will be taking on Command status. Or, as at least one of you has said: he will be flying the desk.”</p><p>Luke flushed and wondered if he was the cause of their change. <em> Sure, everything is always about you. </em>Others at the table mumbled congratulations - or “sorry” depending on their points of view.</p><p>“Do we call you ‘Boss’ now?” Janson questioned.</p><p>“You may call me ‘Sir’ or ‘Commander’ or ‘Commander Narra’.”</p><p>“What’s your first name?” Luke wondered.</p><p>“You are <em> not </em> calling me by my first name,” Narra scolded.</p><p>“I won’t! I just <em> asked!” </em></p><p>Boss said something to Narra under his breath and they both smiled slightly. “It’s Arhul and I never want to hear that name from anyone’s lips.”</p><p>“So can we still call Boss ‘Boss’?”</p><p>“Can we call you ‘Narr’?”</p><p>“Can we call Boss ‘Garven’?”</p><p>Narra looked at Boss. “Changed my mind, I want my job back.” That drew a few chuckles and he let them laugh before speaking again. “I know changes are difficult but I expect minimal difficulties during the transition period. I’ll be moving into Red barracks today, curfew is still 2200 for day shift, 1000 for night, the one-drink rule still applies— except for you younger ones—“</p><p>“We get more,” Luke said across the table to Wedge.</p><p>“—and I will tolerate far fewer interruptions when I am speaking than Boss allowed.” He looked pointedly at Luke. “Duty roster and schedules remain the same, but expect additional drills at Commander Dreis’s discretion. Any questions, bring them to me directly. I do not want any of you to over-utilize Command Staff resources.” Another look at Luke, who lowered his gaze. “Commander Dreis?”</p><p>“It’s been my honor to be your squad commander these past few years,” Boss said. “I will still be available if you have follow up questions and I will pilot as needed. Clear?”</p><p>There were a few mumbled agreements.</p><p>“That’s it then,” Narra said. “Finish up and get to work or get to bed. Oz, 0900 in the CC.”</p><p>“Yes, sir.” He liked Narra, but it sounded like his reign would be different. Might be a good change because Boss had been getting on his nerves recently. Or maybe it was the other way around.</p><p>He wished again that he could talk to his father about the changes, but it would be No-Force Day for a long time. He also wished he had a dad he could talk to about anything other than overthrowing Palpatine and how hard Luke should work.</p><p>The two leaders left the mess hall, leaving silence behind them. “I wonder what prompted that?” Hobbie sighed and crumpled his napkin. “Kinda came out of nowhere.”</p><p>“I dunno, but let’s go.” Zev stood. “Prince Gorgeous, go clean up and change before your appearance at CC. You’ve got only an hour to go through your wardrobe and decide what to wear.”</p><p>Luke sighed with disgust. “C’mon, I don’t need that long!” Although he had to shower and dry his hair, so— “I’m going, I’m going! See you guys later.”</p><p>“Enjoy the Emperor’s speech!” Janson called. “Don’t barf your breakfast!” </p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>He decided on his Sithly uniform, the one his dad persisted in calling ‘Jedi-like’, black leather tabards and boots with dark brown shirt and pants. Walking through the rec area, he had to endure some good-natured catcalls from the night shift guys and pretended to be annoyed, but he was secretly pleased. This was so much better than his Tatooine rags. His appearance was… appropriate to his station, not that any of them knew his station other than the Command staff.</p><p>The chairs were all occupied when he arrived. Even Princess Leia was there in the front row with the other leaders.</p><p>“Happy birthday,” he called cheerfully, and she gave him a cool nod before turning away.</p><p>Luke rolled his eyes. He sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the screen, wriggling in next to Boss’s knees. “Good view.” He tilted his head sideways and smiled at Dreis, who said nothing.</p><p>Those were Willard’s knees on his other side, which he hadn’t realized when he chose his spot, but he wasn’t about to move now. <em> Never show weakness, </em>his dad taught him.</p><p>The screen was showing a wide aerial view of Coruscant that looked like a sea of military grey and white surrounding the buildings, with civilians clustered in clumps, then began a zoom-in where he could pick out individual stormtroopers. The sight nauseated him a little and he hoped he wouldn’t do what Janson suggested. There was something about the inhumanity of faceless troopers that made him uneasy in a way his father’s mask did not.</p><p>Then— there was the Imperial Palace and its Grand Balcony. Behind the ornate balustrade, the Emperor was backed by Darth Vader and other courtiers that Luke recognized from his studies. Moff Tarkin was there with high-ranking military officers he half-recognized from news footage.</p><p>“The Imperial Palace,” the princess said scornfully.</p><p>“The Jedi Temple,” Luke corrected mildly, though he knew there had been changes and additions to the building since the Jedi had used it.</p><p>“Not in <em> our </em> lifetimes,” she snipped back at him.</p><p>“Whatever,” he muttered. Boss’s knee nudged his shoulder and he subsided, leaning forward to get a closer look at his father. The camera closed in on Palpatine and he cursed silently. Who wanted to see a hooded monster when they could look at his magnificent father?</p><p>“Loyal citizens of my glorious Galactic Empire! Today we celebrate seventeen years of peace and prosperity—“</p><p>He wasn’t the only one who groaned. He tuned out the empty words and studied the reactions of the participants as the cameras changed angles. There were a lot of blank faces offering no reactions. Polite applause when the Emperor waited for it. His father was completely motionless, leading Luke to wonder if he was even <em> inside </em> the suit or if he’d made it stand there without him. If only he could—</p><p>
  <em> No Force No Force No Force  </em>
</p><p>That was more difficult than he’d thought it would be, and the absence of the Force made him feel hollow. His mind drifted into numbed boredom as Palpatine droned on. And on. And on. Until he finally said something important.</p><p>“—my loyal Right Hand, Lord Vader—“ Here Palpatine turned his head to focus on the Sith.</p><p>Vader didn’t move, but Luke straightened.</p><p>“—brilliant in his tactics—“</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>Luke inhaled sharply. “Did you see that?” he demanded. Inside, without the Force, he breathed, <em> respond...oh please respond. </em></p><p>“See what?” General Dodonna asked sharply.</p><p>He didn’t remove his gaze from the screen as the Emperor continued describing his father’s latest successes in planetary suppressions. “He’s not acknowledging Palpatine.”</p><p>“Who? Vader?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Luke scooted forward to get closer to the screen. “Look! He’s giving Palpatine nothing, just… nothing.” Suddenly he was very afraid for his father. Was he hurt? Was he even <em> there? </em> “Oh, please answer,” he whispered. <em> Please please please be okay. </em> Maybe Palpatine couldn’t sense their bond, maybe he could reach out and—</p><p>
  <em> No Force No Force No Force </em>
</p><p>He sat back and hugged his knees to his chest. Palpatine finished his congratulations to his Dark Lord— which had sounded more like congratulations to himself— and paused to allow acknowledgement. A wave of clacking sounds followed, and Luke realized all the stormtroopers had whacked the butts of their rifles on the pavement. The crowds of civilians roared in excitement at the throbbing response.</p><p>Vader inclined his head… toward the troopers.</p><p><em> Oh, krit. </em> Luke dug his fingers into his legs.</p><p>“What the hell was that?” someone in the room asked.</p><p><em> That was the sound of an overthrow beginning, </em> Luke thought silently, but— wisely for a change— said nothing.</p><p>“That was something very interesting,” Dodonna responded.</p><p>“Is that 501st?” Leia asked.</p><p>“Only those on the right.” Luke reached to the screen and pointed them out.</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>“Left arms. See that little blue insignia?”</p><p>“So the rest of the stormtroopers….”</p><p>“Plain old troopers.” The support was wonderful, but why did they express it in front of the Emperor? His dad would pay for this moment of perceived insurrection. Luke shook his head. “This is so bad,” he said under his breath. “So bad.”</p><p>“It looks good to me.” Willard heard his whisper. “Division in the Empire can only work to our advantage.”</p><p><em> Yeah, if you can figure out how to use it. </em> He didn’t have much faith in Alliance strategists. They seemed only to be able to grab random opportunities and not plan ahead.</p><p>And it sure as hell wasn’t good for his dad.</p><p>
  <em> No Force No Force No Force </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But please be careful. </em>
</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>After Palpatine wound up his speech to thundering applause, there came the flyover his father had arranged. Hundreds of ships, huge star destroyers hovering high in the sky while the smaller vessels zoomed overhead in an aerial parade. It was awesome, completely intimidating, and made the Alliance’s fleet seem tiny and their rebellion hopeless. Luke didn’t say that aloud, but the silence in the room was deafening with that truth. And he couldn’t help it— he was so <em> proud </em> of his father.</p><p>Commander Dreis clicked off the display. “Show’s over. Back to work,” he said with weariness in his voice.</p><p>Luke rose from the floor and followed the crowd until Dodonna stopped him with a hand on his arm. <em> One more thing. </em> There’s always one more thing. Resigned, he stood to the side and waited until only five were left.</p><p>“Commander Narra, you’re dismissed,” Willard said.</p><p>Narra stood very straight. “I’ll stay with my squad member.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Luke replied softly, barely stifling a sigh of relief.</p><p>Willard, Dodonna and Boss exchanged looks, silently voting, he assumed. “Very well.” General Willard closed his throat. “Before his speech, Palpatine showed the following battle footage from Shu-Torun. We chose not to share it with everyone.”</p><p>No one sat. Luke folded his arms, knowing this would be bad. He braced himself and wondered how many ships the Alliance had lost.</p><p>Yes, there were ships, TIES looping easily around old T-47s, blasting them from the air, sending smashing fireballs into the ground— but then the footage changed, focusing on people running frantically, ducking for cover under trees— hopelessly because the trees were torn apart by blasts. Helmet cams from stormtroopers showed Alliance and Empire uniforms both familiar and strange, ragged homespun clothes, fancy jackets, brightly-colored dresses, women, children, old people choking through clouds of black smoke— explosions, laser fire, dirt and blood, arms and legs flying off and lying alone on the ground, whoever they had belonged to disappeared—</p><p>
  <em> —I need corpses to practice exploding them— </em>
</p><p>—a man, going rigid as he was shot, falling, stumbling up again on his hands and knees, struck by a nearby detonation, slumping, muscles exposed, skin burning and sizzling and shredding, still struggling to rise, reaching for a tiny body with its head missing—</p><p>He covered his mouth to keep from crying out. This— this was not what it was supposed to be like. It was spotting ships on sensors, blowing them into sparkling bits, dropping a torpedo down a shaft and eliminating an entire weapon-world and everyone in it—</p><p>—and into the chaos of gore and blaster fire strode an imposing dark figure, commanding, magnificent, red saber twirling in front of him <em> —one-handed!— </em> batting away laser fire so fast Luke couldn’t separate one movement from the next <em> — so amazing!— </em> slicing in half a woman clutching a child, getting both of them in one blow—</p><p>—<em> you don’t understand you don’t know what made him what he is but he loves me— </em></p><p>He turned to flee, but Dodonna grabbed him from behind, forcing him to face the screen, holding his arms tightly. “He needs to see this,” he growled at Narra’s quiet protest. “This is the animal you’re protecting,” he hissed in Luke’s ear.</p><p>
  <em> I can save him— </em>
</p><p>He wanted to close his eyes, but he couldn’t. That was his father— his <em> father </em> — dismembering people like slicing meat to be devoured for dinner… <em> but his father didn’t even eat, he didn’t even... </em>. Distantly he could admire the lightsaber techniques against the laser fire, but….</p><p>
  <em> But </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —you can’t save an animal like that— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But I can’t— </em>
</p><p>Vader slicing a man down his centerline and bowels spilling out, fingers clutching at his abdomen, trying in vain—</p><p>
  <em> But I can’t give up on him— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Do not react no matter what happens </em>
</p><p>Vader lopped off the man’s head. The body stood for two seconds longer before toppling and—</p><p>
  <em> —bits of brain matter and skin and blood on the floor on the barracks— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —good work son— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No Force No Force No Force </em>
</p><p>Black fist clenched and two children were raised into the air and thrown, mouths open in silent shrieks—</p><p>
  <em> —and it didn’t touch him— </em>
</p><p>Luke yanked free and ran. Just… ran.</p><p><b>OooOoo</b> </p><p>At the edge of the jungle, he bent over a bushy plant and vomited his breakfast. Janson was right, Janson warned him, they all warned him—</p><p>
  <em> —you can’t save him— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —what did redemption mean anyway— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —your favorite asset— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —together we can— </em>
</p><p>“Stupid!” he shouted, half-shouting at himself. “You are so kriffin’ <em> stupid!” </em></p><p>
  <em> —together we can defeat Palpatine— </em>
</p><p>“Why not just say, ‘I need another tool’,” Luke hissed. “Just say, ‘My son, my wonderfully powerful son, you will put <em> me </em> on the throne and I will bring order’.”</p><p>
  <em> Order </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Destruction </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Annihilation </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —we will rule the galaxy as father and son— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Join me my son </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fight for me </em>
</p><p>So proud….</p><p>
  <em> Fine lightsaber you’ve got there </em>
</p><p>Dark Lord Luke Skywalker, walking through a battle, casually slitting throats, amputating arms and legs…. He could almost see it because it was <em> there, </em> right there, hovering in his head waiting for him to acknowledge it. And surrendering to it would be the easiest path <em> . </em></p><p>
  <em> —father and son together— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No Force No Force No Force </em>
</p><p>There was no doubt that Palpatine meant that video for him. To break him— to break <em> them </em> , to separate them— and Vader had flaunted his military support in the Emperor’s face. What the <em> kriff </em> was going on, what was he supposed to do, how should he feel? Did his father really think Luke could ignore what he’d seen…. <em> Yes, of course. </em> Why not? He <em> knew </em> his dad had murdered millions… billions?... and he’d accepted that, but he’d never <em> seen </em> it, and the reality was nothing like what was in his worst nightmares.</p><p>And his father assumed he would go along with his horrific plans… because he always had. First with small demurrals, then without question.</p><p>Maybe Command was right. His father was an animal, a hideous, murderous animal, and his son was following in his footsteps.</p><p>
  <em> —and yet— </em>
</p><p>He ran. Deeper in the jungle, he leaned against a tree. There was a pond… the pond where he <em> exploded </em> the tentacled life form without consideration… like his father did in battles. Or on the bridge of the Devastator <em> . </em> Or who the hell knew, maybe on the streets of Coruscant. He didn’t deserve to live, to rule, to have someone who loved him—</p><p>
  <em> —and yet— </em>
</p><p>Had it all been his imagination? On the Devastator<em> , </em>his father teaching him, teasing him, choking him, lopping off his hand— sure, it was an accident—</p><p>
  <em> —but if something happens when you’re angry, is it really an accident? </em>
</p><p>What a kriffin’ mess his entire life had been— and Luke wasn’t sure which one of them he meant. Probably both. But definitely he would have been better off staying on Tatooine. On the farm, on the streets, drunk and high, a thief, a rent boy... any of it would have been better than this.</p><p>
  <em> —you’re a locus— </em>
</p><p>No shit. A locus, a nexus, a freak, son of a freak. Son of a traitor father and a traitor mother. Evil, just like they predicted. Just like <em> he </em> predicted. There was no other path open for him, never had been.</p><p>Except on the streets of Mos Eisley.</p><p>
  <em> ... coughing on a whirlwind of sand and dust standing on a crate peeking in windows watching what the krif people did to each other…. </em>
</p><p>A familiar scent wafted across his nose and he looked around. There was a man across the pond, sitting on a log, watching him. Vaguely familiar from the base, but Luke didn’t know his name. The man jerked his head to one side in invitation.</p><p>Luke walked across and stood in front of him. The man held up his spice stick. “Si’ down.”</p><p>Oh, hells, no, not in his good clothes!</p><p>
  <em> ...what’re you lookin’ at kid get down here... </em>
</p><p>He shook his head to clear his mind.</p><p>“Wanna hit?”</p><p>
  <em> … you buy glitt today I give you dat x-wing tat you bin wantin’ </em>
</p><p>He stared at the plume of smoke.. He’d promised his dad… that made him laugh a little. Did promises to Darth Vader mean anything? What the krif did it matter what he’d promised? Vader only wanted him to stay straight so he could use him.</p><p>
  <em> —never waste an asset— </em>
</p><p>Anger curled in his chest. Why deny himself? He wanted to take a long draw and feel the pleasure course through his body, dulling his mind, blunting the images of his father—</p><p><em> —but one thing I am </em> <em> not </em> <em> is a quitter.  </em></p><p>Sort of a double-edged meaning when it came to spice.</p><p>“No, thanks.” Why was he pretending to be polite?</p><p>
  <em> ...nothing sir doing nothing... </em>
</p><p>“Cute.” The man smiled mockingly, and anger coiled in Luke’s chest. He needed to release all these emotions churning inside him, let his rage and disillusionment flare and explode. Pain, terror, memories that needed to stay buried. He wanted to use the Force— </p><p>
  <em> No. </em>
</p><p>“Is that all you’ve got?” he asked scornfully. “That’s not worth my time.”</p><p>“That’s all <em> he’s </em> got,” someone behind him said. “But we’ve got better stuff.”</p><p>Two more. Not pilots, not mechs… well, maybe, he couldn’t think clearly through all the emotions that vied for his attention. “Bring it on.”</p><p>“You got any creds?” The taller one stood too close at his shoulder, the other moved behind him.</p><p>
  <em> ...four... what can I do against four stormtroopers... </em>
</p><p>Luke shrugged. “Nah. I got cut off. Bad behavior.” <em> There are no stormtroopers here. </em></p><p>“Hah. Yeah.” The man dropped a couple packets on the ground. Not Violet, cheaper stuff. “It’ll do the job,” he said when he saw Luke’s frown and added admiringly, “Nice threads.”</p><p>“Thanks.” </p><p>“Wanna trade?”</p><p>Luke evaluated the man‘s clothes. Bloodstripe trousers— probably stolen— and a baggy, sweat-stained tan shirt. <em> As if</em>. “Krit, no.”</p><p>Of course he could simply take the spice for himself and walk away. Really, what did it matter any longer. He could live his life any way he wanted. Vader had no say, that was over, he wanted nothing more to do with his Dark Father.</p><p>All over. All of it.</p><p>Over.</p><p>
  <em> —and yet— </em>
</p><p>Why did that idea hurt so much?</p><p>“You’re a pretty little thing,” the third man said from behind, whispering in his ear.</p><p>
  <em> ...he’s a pretty little thing… </em>
</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>
  <em> ... c’mon, you got sand up your grill, that’s not a boy, it’s a girl…. </em>
</p><p>“Maybe we can work out another kind of payment, blondie.”</p><p>The man at his back ran his hands down the length of Luke’s arms and nuzzled his cheek.</p><p>Oh, yeah.  <em> Shove your tongue in my mouth and I’ll bite it off. </em> What the krif, it was his <em> birthday</em>, he deserved a present.</p><p>
  <em> —it was the worst day of my life— </em>
</p><p>Not yet.</p><p>Not for him anyway. But for them—</p><p>
  <em> I’ll break your kriffin’ necks. Rip out your hearts— </em>
</p><p>
  <em> —I need some corpses to— </em>
</p><p>“Hey, look!” Unexpectedly the smoker grinned and gestured. “The party just got bigger.”</p><p>Two figures emerged from the forest. “Let me go! What’s going on here?” Princess Leia demanded, struggling against the arm that wrapped around her waist and lifted her off the ground.</p><p>
  <em> ...four... </em>
</p><p>Mentally Luke groaned.</p><p>“What do you think’s going on?” The fourth man pushed her forward. “I found us a real girl. Double the fun.”</p><p>
  <em> ...nah, this one is enough for all of us… </em>
</p><p>Luke squatted suddenly and rammed his fist upward as hard as he could against his captor’s chin, then he flipped the stunned man over his back, sending him flying. He landed with a bone-shattering crunch and a scream, and Luke sent a feral smile in his direction. <em> I hope your kriffin’ back is broken</em>. He moved toward Leia, but she had already twisted her weight to one side and kneed her captor in the groin.</p><p>Luke snarled and kicked the bent man in his ribs, knocking him over, and when the man rolled onto his back with a moan, he stomped on his stomach once, twice— He really wanted to kill—</p><p>
  <em> ...krit did you kill him….</em>
</p><p>Shut up. He ignored the memory that had been long dead and buried. Like this monster should be. Who needed the Force when he was combat trained? Panting, he grabbed a narrow tree limb from the ground, snapped it in half and whirled it, readying himself for another attack—</p><p>And was completely disappointed when two remaining men ran, leaving the semi-conscious duo on the ground where they’d been thrown.</p><p>
  <em> ...who cares… just dump him... </em>
</p><p>Would he <em> never </em> get what he wanted? “Damnit! I want to fight! <em> Come back here!” </em></p><p>“Stop it!” Princess Leia looked at him with disgust. She pressed her com. “Security, I have a situation.”</p><p>Oh, great.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>